tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20665708561935516232024-02-06T22:58:07.188-06:00Learning to Delight"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4Hayleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10039476131558786642noreply@blogger.comBlogger46125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066570856193551623.post-34537180831416554132012-03-04T17:10:00.003-06:002012-03-04T17:56:57.855-06:00Wonderful Merciful Savior<div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center; "><i style="font-size: 100%; ">But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. </i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center; "><i style="font-size: 100%; ">Galatians 5:22-26</i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center; "><i style="font-size: 100%; "><br /></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><span style="font-size: 100%; ">I've always heard it said that the teacher learns the most, and I know this to be true from personal experience. I started teaching a girls' Sunday School class last August, and in September we began a study called <i>Becoming a Young Woman of God. </i>I have learned things along the way, but God used this week's lesson to speak to me in a way that I haven't heard Him speak in some time.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><span style="font-size: 100%; "><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><span style="font-size: 100%; ">We have been learning about our feelings and how emotions can be positive or negative. The past two weeks we learned that our feelings can actually be radar systems to warn us or cause us to take positive action. The study has taken us through a series of steps to help us evaluate our actions and reactions to situations. Then today, we looked at the fruits of the spirit and what our lives are saying to others.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><span style="font-size: 100%; "><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; ">God spoke to me very strongly through Galatians 5:22-26. He very clearly showed me that some of my actions during the past week were not pleasing to Him. He showed me that I let my feelings and emotions control me rather than them helping me to take positive action. This morning as I read these verses with my girls in Sunday School, I very clearly felt the Holy Spirit speaking to me, telling me that I had acted foolishly and had not portrayed the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control that He wants from me. </div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; ">The working of the Holy Spirit doesn't stop there though. During church this morning, we heard a beautiful song that I have loved for quite some time. "Wonderful Merciful Savior" was sung, and I really <i>heard </i>the words today. At one point the lyrics say:</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; ">You are the One that we praise;</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; ">You are the One we adore.</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; ">You give the healing and grace</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; ">Our hearts always hunger for.</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; ">As I listened to these words I thought about the last week and the turmoil that I have felt inside. <span style="font-size: 100%; ">My heart had been hungering for something, but what was it? It was <i>healing </i>and <i>grace</i>--the kind that only comes from Jesus. I'm so thankful for His grace, yet I am so <i>undeserving </i>of it.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><span style="font-size: 100%; "><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><span style="font-size: 100%; ">And many times, I'm unwilling to give it. </span><span style="font-size: 100%; ">That's what hit me in the face this morning. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><span style="font-size: 100%; "><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><span style="font-size: 100%; ">I. Am. Unwilling. To. Give. Grace. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><span style="font-size: 100%; "><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><span style="font-size: 100%; ">I--who have been shown grace time and time and time again--am so very, very often unwilling to give it. And if I'm unwilling to give it, then why should I expect to get it in return? </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><span style="font-size: 100%; "><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><span style="font-size: 100%; ">But what an awesome God I serve! He loves me in spite of my faults. He shows me grace daily when I fail miserably, but most of all He showed me grace by allowing His sinless son to die a sinners death on the cross for me. A man who knew no sin, was tortured and killed because I become unwilling to show grace. So that I do not ever have to face eternity without Jesus, He died in my place. That is grace. And it was shown for you and me.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left; "><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span ><iframe width="480" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/a3mMtxPo2W8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></span></div>Hayleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10039476131558786642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066570856193551623.post-9421597088240560332011-08-08T20:20:00.005-05:002011-08-08T20:57:24.217-05:00Welcome to Two
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHIFWNLClcUymGFd9QXUkQmUtSfdS2A3S1Txp7RX7DlMssa2In3b3ME_jhClzqSevC3-cyPJin2rocEVexgOgkgzB9JXMLj_ixelGAO7EzGU5PvKGOC9BnmjejjothJHDnSEP1JSornv8/s1600/Lily.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHIFWNLClcUymGFd9QXUkQmUtSfdS2A3S1Txp7RX7DlMssa2In3b3ME_jhClzqSevC3-cyPJin2rocEVexgOgkgzB9JXMLj_ixelGAO7EzGU5PvKGOC9BnmjejjothJHDnSEP1JSornv8/s320/Lily.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5638667636557886194" border="0" /></a>
<br />We celebrated our precious little Lily Ana's second birthday on the 23rd of July. She has grown so much in the last year. I look at her each day in utter amazement. Her smile warms me and sends chills through me at the same time. I could eat her up, she's so cuddly and lovable. Her cheeks are so round and full that sometimes I think I could just take a bite out of them!
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<br />Lily's birthday week was a very busy one. Bryan was at Pre-Teen camp, our 15th anniversary came and went, and I was in a technology academy for school. It wasn't until after the birthday party--and then maybe a day or two after that--when I finally realized our baby girl had turned TWO!
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<br />Two years. Two very quick years since we'd brought her home as a very tiny but oh, so beautiful baby. She was THE MOST beautiful newborn that I have ever laid eyes on. Her birthmom tells me that all the nurses at the hospital said that, and one of the ladies who works at New Life said that too. One of her grandmothers even agrees, but I won't say which one. (Shhh...)
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<br />Two. Two years have passed since we brought home a stranger; since we opened our hearts to this child. We loved her from the beginning, but it wasn't easy. I can honestly say that the first four months were some of the most difficult I've ever faced. She grieved for her birthmom. We grieved when we lost my Grandpa. Thankfully, and by no coincidence, I eventually felt bonded with her during the Thanksgiving holidays when she was four months old.
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<br />Two. Two years have seen so much change in her. She's talking so much now, and last night everything was, "Naaaw..." That's <span style="font-style: italic;">Lily </span>for, "No." She's just started verbalizing it. She's had the head shake down for a while, but it's just been in the last few weeks that the, "Naaaw..." has come to be. Everything we asked her last night got the response of, "Naaaw..."
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<br />ME: Lily are you finished eating?
<br />LILY: Naaaw...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXcjHs1Nram3VWjl8rKIc969qFomBuOQg0cI12P8l3a9nN3slPsP_tJFuJkEkRogXIp7fIggsClZdexYLfB55vGFppwJn0acY-d61ztavUQvGfReXPCeuSmO1ZYMTxlJciZEtwtYaMiPU/s1600/Lily+4.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXcjHs1Nram3VWjl8rKIc969qFomBuOQg0cI12P8l3a9nN3slPsP_tJFuJkEkRogXIp7fIggsClZdexYLfB55vGFppwJn0acY-d61ztavUQvGfReXPCeuSmO1ZYMTxlJciZEtwtYaMiPU/s320/Lily+4.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5638667964906078162" border="0" /></a>
<br />ME: Lily do you want more to eat?
<br />LILY: Naaaw...
<br />ME: Lily do you want to go see Wheeze (her birthmom) tomorrow?
<br />LILY: Naaaw...
<br />ME: Lily do you want to go to the circus tomorrow? (I was trying to find something that would sound exciting to her!)
<br />LILY: Naaaw...
<br />ME: Lily do you want to eat cotton candy and ride a pony tomorrow? (Surely that would excite her!)
<br />LILY: Naaaw...
<br />ME: Do you want to do anything fun?
<br />LILY: Naaaw... (with a huge, toothy smile)
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<br /><div style="text-align: left;">Bryan very innocently commented, "Welcome to two!" As I took Lily to change her diaper and get her ready for bed, I got to thinking about what he'd said. <span style="font-style: italic;">Welcome to two</span>. Lily was just being a two year old. She was being silly, but there are times when her, "Naaaw..." is defiant or disobedient. But mostly, she's just being TWO.
<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinYdaWpEFqvU6w3fGhD39aF7gfXNYWTfAVMGvbRspJ7dvOG5ALafBYUsru-X6T9t0Oa_4XVtRufoXqPLYmbCP49OpMSXuy2ydvoaFcBHPRO3umsam_joH6fqStbwmLENm-PqGOu_v9mrA/s1600/Lily+3.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 270px; height: 201px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinYdaWpEFqvU6w3fGhD39aF7gfXNYWTfAVMGvbRspJ7dvOG5ALafBYUsru-X6T9t0Oa_4XVtRufoXqPLYmbCP49OpMSXuy2ydvoaFcBHPRO3umsam_joH6fqStbwmLENm-PqGOu_v9mrA/s320/Lily+3.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5638667874581792146" border="0" /></a>
<br />God spoke to me through Bryan's comment and Lily and showed me that I am NOT two. How often do I tell Him, "Naaaw..." when He asks me to do something? I have no excuse because I'm not two. My only excuse is defiance or disobedience. Wow! All that from a two year old.
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<br />I am so thankful that God is using my daughter already to teach me things. What a gift she is!
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<br />Hayleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10039476131558786642noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066570856193551623.post-80550313326810592962011-07-02T14:35:00.004-05:002011-07-02T15:02:52.189-05:00Spiritual LessonsI'm not feeling well today. It's after 2:30, and I'm still in my pajamas and haven't even brushed my teeth. I went to bed last night with the feeling that a migraine was coming, and when I woke up this morning I had the worst headache I've had in a very long time. I've been on the couch or in the bed most of the day today. At about 1:30, I decided I should get up and try to eat something. I found myself here at the computer and wandered over to this seemingly forgotten blog.<br /><br />I avoid looking at it because it reminds me that I've neglected it. I speak of "IT" as if it's a living, breathing thing. In some ways it is. I started this blog to remind myself of the things that God has done in my life, and to help me not to forget what it is He has called me to be. So avoiding "IT" has, in some ways, been my way of not dealing with things in my life that need to be addressed spiritually. <br /><br />As I live my life--day after day--I often find myself thinking, "Oh, I could blog about that!" Something will happen, and I'll try to find the spiritual truth in it. It's been nearly seven months since I've written anything here, and I can't begin to count the topics that have come up that I've begun writing in my head. The problem is that they are all ME trying to put a spiritual spin on something that's not. I'm trying to find the God-factor in something that He's not showing me.<br /><br />Today as I laid in bed, praying for my headache to go away, I realized that I've been moving so quickly through life that I'm not taking the time for the most important thing. I'm not being still. We are so busy each and every day. Since school was out, we've been on the go nearly every single day for over a month. We enjoyed a fabulous vacation in Panama City Beach, Florida, but as soon as we got home, we hit the ground running again. <br /><br />In the book of Psalms the writer speaks of the Lord Almighty, "He says, 'Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.' "(46:10) Oh, I like to be still. I am loving my afternoon summer naps! Last week Emma Leigh went to WOW Science Camp, and nearly every afternoon when Lily napped, I napped too. I was exhausted from getting up and taking her to camp each morning, and then running errands I didn't know I had.<br /><br />But I don't think the Psalmist is talking about that kind of stillness, and he's for sure not talking about laziness or slothfulness. This stillness is a quiet listening. This stillness is a restful awareness. It's knowing He is God--knowing He is there, even when we don't feel it. <br /><br />The next three weeks are CRAZY busy for us. We have plans nearly every day this coming week, VBS the following week, Bryan goes to Pre-Teen camp the next week, and I'm in WOW! Academy training the same week. But my prayer is that despite the day-to-day, something-is-on-the-calendar, we've-got-to-get-up-and-go, I will find time each day to be STILL.Hayleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10039476131558786642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066570856193551623.post-54949920291988972242010-12-09T16:05:00.004-06:002010-12-09T16:47:23.177-06:00Where is the Joy?I've tried. I really have. I've begun writing in my head. I've sat and stared at a blank screen. I've laid awake at night thinking. The words just haven't come. Other times, thoughts <em>have</em> come to me while I've been driving or bathing the girls, and then when I've had time to organize them into writing, I've lost them. I feel like I've been in some sort of desert.<br /><br /><br />My goal when I started this blog wasn't to keep anyone updated on my family or to share pictures of my girls. I started my blog to help <em>me</em> stay in touch with what really matters. I wanted to remind myself that I must delight daily in God's goodness; that I must seek His face continually for Him to speak to me. I wanted to share what God was doing in my life; to journal in such a way that I could look back on it and remind myself of what He'd done.<br /><br /><br />I've experienced so much since August, that I can't begin to describe it all. I am working in a new job, doing something far outside my comfort zone. Yet, God has shown me that this is exactly where He wants me, and He's equipped me for it. I've known for a long time that my gifts lie in teaching and helping, and in this job, I get to do both! What a blessing!<br /><br /><br />This time of year though, many of us teachers start to feel the pressure of the season. The kids are bouncing off the walls most days, but some days they're in tears because someone hurt their feelings. We have kids in our classes that don't celebrate Christmas, so we often can't listen to holiday music or read our favorite books. One of our teachers even remarked, "I feel like I've lost my Christmas spirit!"<br /><br /><br />That got me to thinking. The spirit of Christmas isn't really in us, is it? It's not about us or a feeling at all. I don't have a typical classroom this year. I teach in a computer lab, and I don't have a class to call my own. I teach almost 1,000 students in a month's time. I'm not making Christmas crafts, and I'm not reading a Christmas book everyday.<br /><br /><br />And because I'm teaching in a public school again, I'm certainly not sharing the story of Jesus with my students like I was able to do the past four years at the private school where I taught. This morning on the way to work, as I listened to the radio, the announcer spoke about what it must have been like to be Mary or Joseph. <br /><br />God placed this in my heart a long time ago. When Emma Leigh was a baby, He helped me see the humanity of Christmas. He helped me to understand what Emmanuel really means. God coming to Earth as a baby, a tiny helpless human being is what Emmanuel is. God coming to be with us. This speaks to me in a way that means so much. I relate to this as a parent because I know the longings that Mary must have felt as she held her baby for the first time. I know the dreams Joseph must have had for his son. No, I can't imagine holding the Creator in my arms as an infant or what it must have been like to gaze into the eyes that saw me before I saw Him. <br /><br />But this morning as I listened to the radio, I became even more aware of the fact that the spirit of Christmas <em>doesn't</em> lie within us! <strong>Emmanuel--God in the flesh--is the miracle of Christmas!</strong> And it's the Holy Spirit living inside of us that gives us that joy! <br /><br />If you're looking for the spirit of Christmas, don't look within. Instead, look to Emmanuel. Look to the tiny baby who came to Earth for one purpose only. He came that you may have life, and have it more abundantly. He came that you might have joy. The joy is in the baby!Hayleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10039476131558786642noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066570856193551623.post-90531772567523528742010-08-05T18:18:00.005-05:002010-08-05T18:48:54.944-05:00A Year of Celebration and Loss<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-r1hvZAqsXMH9-SLLMunK67bFUy29dwA4AIXq0Mj41wCy-Avr03RINBod06UQjsAW1aw5w-aU4O33qmmq-QAX8jd_6eKR8ficblGbmAKKs3dOSABTUJnj7C_QYO95kr4L82_7QRX0How/s1600/Lil.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 256px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-r1hvZAqsXMH9-SLLMunK67bFUy29dwA4AIXq0Mj41wCy-Avr03RINBod06UQjsAW1aw5w-aU4O33qmmq-QAX8jd_6eKR8ficblGbmAKKs3dOSABTUJnj7C_QYO95kr4L82_7QRX0How/s320/Lil.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5502075369178573026" border="0" /></a><br />Where has the last year gone? As I sat rocking Lily Ana yesterday, I wondered that. She turned one almost three weeks ago, and as I sat looking at her sweet little cheeks, I thought about all that has transpired in the last year. Our family has experienced more ups and downs in the past year than I think we did in the four years prior.<br /><br />Lily's birthday is of course an obvious reminder of the heartache that my family felt when my grandpa passed away. You may remember that he fell and broke his hip when Lily was just one week old. For the next month, we watched and waited, celebrated small improvements, and gathered together for his last hours here on Earth. It was one of those times in my life that I didn't know how low I was until I had been lifted back up months later.<br /><br />Then in December, we were told that I would be losing my job! The news that our school was closing came as no real shock, but it took some time to process the great impact our family would feel. We thought that maybe God was giving me the opportunity to do something different--perhaps even get to stay home full-time. We prayed continually that if He wanted me to do that, that He would provide a way financially.<br /><br />As time went on, we realized that God was answering that prayer with a "no." But like God does, He provided something we weren't expecting. Three years ago a teaching opportunity came to me that seemed like it was everything I could ever ask for. It was a substantial pay increase, benefits, and so much more! The one draw-back was that Emma Leigh wouldn't have been able to attend preschool, and I wanted very much for her to have that experience. I turned the job down and just knew something like that would never come along again.<br /><br />When school was out this past year, I had interviewed at a local Christian school that seemed the ideal place to be, but then someone else was hired for the position. All hope of me finding a job that would be good for my family seemed lost. Bryan gently reminded me that I needed to find something as it seemed that God was not making a way for me to stay home. One Tuesday evening I finally logged onto the Conroe ISD Job Line, and marveled at what I found. The same position I had turned down three years earlier was posted at a different school but by the same principal who happened to be a friend of mine.<br /><br />After an e-mail and several missed and returned phone calls, I had an interview and was offered the job! God has provided for us immensely through this job. It's very different from anything I've ever done, but I know that God is going to give me the knowledge that I need to carry it out.<br /><br />As I sat rocking Lily the other day, I was reminded of God's provision and that hand of providence that I wrote about in June. He has brought us joy in the midst of sadness; provision during a time of uncertainty; and He has given me two beautiful daughters to call my own. He has been with us during the celebrations and the losses. What a year it's been!Hayleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10039476131558786642noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066570856193551623.post-64977645768921753522010-06-11T10:01:00.007-05:002010-06-11T11:06:47.183-05:00The Hand of Providence<div style="text-align: left;">This is another one of those posts that I've been composing in my head for a very long time. The neat thing is that God just keeps confirming my thoughts over and over again! During the last four to six months, the words<span style="font-style: italic;"> hands of providence</span> keep coming to my mind. Through circumstances and trials, I have continually thought of those words. I finally looked up the word and found a definition that blew me away. It said, "a manifestation of God's foresightful care for his creatures." When I read that, I couldn't believe how that completely justified and confirmed all that I'd been relating to those words <span style="font-style: italic;">hands of providence</span>.<br /></div><br />This past Tuesday our church had our first Vacation Bible School workday of the summer. I usually co-direct VBS and teach a Missions class, but this year, God has provided lots of workers and I'm not teaching the Missions class. A precious lady named Ms. Linda is teaching it for us, and I had the great privilege of talking with her on Tuesday. We found out that we have many common interests--teaching, writing, and Texas history just to name a few. She commented that we were kindred spirits!<br /><br />But then the conversation turned to things more spiritual. We talked about how God has worked in our lives in <span style="font-style: italic;">providential </span>ways. Ms. Linda and I both made a decision to follow Jesus at the ripe old age of 9, but we agreed that we didn't fully understand the working of God in our lives until we were much older. Ms. Linda shared that it was after losing her father, her husband, and being diagnosed with cancer that she saw how God was preparing things ahead of time for her well-fare.<br /><br />At the time she was diagnosed, she had no medical insurance and was six months away from being able to qualify for Medicare. When she was told she'd need surgery and possibly radiation or chemotherapy, she expressed her concern with a medical professional. This person explained to her that the state legislature had just passed a law granting aid to women diagnosed with her type of cancer who had no medical insurance. Of course, as we all know, the bill that was passed had not <span style="font-style: italic;">just</span> happened. It had been in the works for many, many months, possibly even years. Every last penny of her medical treatment was covered through this program! She commented that of course it had not been done just for her, but I was quick to remind her that it was! We marveled at the providential care and concern of our Lord. I compared His working in our lives to a thread, weaving its way through our lives before we even know we are in need.<br /><br />Over the past months, God has been showing me where that thread has been in my life. Our journeys through infertility and the adoption of our beautiful little girls are such testimonies to the workings of God. He knew before Bryan and I even desired to start a family that we would be faced with the heart-wrenching tour through the land of barrenness. He also knew which children would be ours. He knew that their birthmoms would face the difficult decisions of placing them with us. Those decisions were a part of the tapestry of our lives being woven by the <span style="font-style: italic;">hand of providence</span>.<br /><br />God has also shown me that because of His <span style="font-style: italic;">providential </span>care, I don't have to worry about the future! I was told last December that the teaching position I have held for the past four years was being eliminated for the 2010-2011 school year. The elementary portion of First Baptist Academy was closing. Depending on who you asked and when you asked, the reasons were varied and often vague. It became impossible to know who to trust and whose motives to question. I went through a period of shock and confusion. I was angry that the decisions of seemingly one or two people could cause such drastic change for my family and the families of the academy. I was bitter, and I was deeply saddened by the loss I knew I would feel and the loss that those around me were feeling.<br /><br />And then I was worried and anxious and filled with questions. Where would I work? How would our family make it financially? Did the Lord want me to stay at home? Did He want me to return to public school or did He want me to continue to work at a private Christian school? What about the education of our girls? On Memorial Day, with the help of my dad and husband, I moved all of my things home from my classroom and each time I have walked into the garage the boxes have glared at me, reminding me that I don't know what the future holds for them or me!<br /><br />But that thread has never stopped moving. God continues to weave that tapestry of my life, and He has provided for my family and me. I have gotten a job starting in the Fall, and I'll share where and how it came to be when all of the details are confirmed. I'm excited about where the <span style="font-style: italic;">hand of providence</span> will guide me.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Providence, providence<br />See it laying down the cornerstone<br />The hand of providence, it's evident<br />For we could never make it on our own<br /><br />Apportioning the power<br />Weighing all that it entails<br />Giving us the fulcrum<br />And a balance to the scales<br /><br />Providence, ever since<br />Any thesis ever entered man<br />The hand of providence<br />Has been our best defense<br />Tho' his ways are sometimes hard to understand<br /><br />From the dying of a hearbeat<br />To another soul reborn<br />From in between and circling<br />Our thoughts of love and war<br /><br />Oh, the hand of providence<br />Is guiding us through choices that we make<br />Oh, the hand of providence<br />Is reaching out to help us on our way<br /><br />Written by Michael W. Smith</div>Hayleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10039476131558786642noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066570856193551623.post-77726391533201544892010-05-31T11:58:00.002-05:002010-05-31T12:13:15.748-05:00ReflectingWe received word on Saturday morning that a dear friend of ours had left this world and gone to be with her Heavenly Father. She had fallen and broken her hip nearly a month ago, and in very similar circumstances to my grandfather, had been in ICU on a ventilator.<br /><br />For the past couple of days, I've been reading on Facebook what others have posted about her influence in their lives. One sweet friend talked about the ripple-effect that her prayers and life had. Another spoke of the five couples who are now serving in ministry positions because of her influence. I have tried to count them up, and I think I get six--Brian and Tiff; Josh and Erin; Eric and Donnell; Keith and Shawn; Alex and Nichole; Bryan and myself. I did not attend the church where Mrs. Pat attended, but I do remember her smiling face being at many, many youth camps that I attended. She had a heart for generations younger than her, and she faithfully served as a teacher and mentor to many girls my age. <br /><br />The thought that continues to run through my mind though has to do with that ripple-effect. You see, Pat's youngest son and my husband were best friends. Bryan was raised in the Catholic church, but Pat's son John invited him to go to church with their family. I am certain that Mrs. Pat prayed for my husband's salvation, and as a result of her family's influence in his life, he became a Christian at the age of 14. He continued to attend church with this family and later on his own. Had it not been for the prayers of this godly woman, my husband may not have become the man he is today.<br /><br />But the ripple goes farther than that. Because the churches we both attended years ago participated in events and activities together, we came to know each other, dated, and of course, ultimately married. And now we are raising our two girls to know and love the Lord. So Mrs. Pat's influence didn't stop with Bryan. It continues to move outward to our little family, and in time, it will move to the lives that our daughters touch. What a legacy!Hayleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10039476131558786642noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066570856193551623.post-30521700269472106902010-02-14T19:21:00.002-06:002010-02-14T19:39:28.813-06:00It's Been Way Too Long...Believe it or not, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth! And even more unbelievable is the fact that I have <span style="font-style: italic;">wanted </span>to post many, many things over the last three months, but it just hasn't happened. It's amazing how much of my time is consumed by two little people! This evening though Lily Ana is asleep in the swing and Em is watching Tinkerbell.<br /><br />I keep calling into the living room to ask Emma Leigh if she's asleep and her reply each time is, "Yes..." I can just see the sparkle that I know is there in her eyes when she says it. She has become quite the little comedienne. I'm sure I don't know where she gets that from being Bryan Rasco's daughter and all! She is telling jokes right and left now. Her latest favorite is..."What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel, and Clifford? HOT DIGGETY DOG!" And even though we've now heard it at least 672 times, we still laugh because her sense of humor is so genuine and that sparkle in her gigantic, beautiful brown eyes just makes us melt. She's becoming so independent and more and more determined to be her own little person each day!<br /><br />My sweet little Lily Ana is growing and changing too. She is nearly seven months old, and she has two cute, sharp little teeth right smack dab in the middle on the bottom. She laughs all the time, and her countenance visibly changes when she sees her big sister! One evening last week while we ate dinner, she sat playing in her bouncy seat near the table. As she was cooing and blowing very wet bubbles, I looked at her and said, "Where's Daddy?" She immediately turned and looked across the table at Bryan. He then said, "Where's Mommy?" and she turned back to me. I couldn't resist and said, "Where's your sister? Where's Emmie?" Without hesitation, she turned to face Emma Leigh. All three of us squealed with delight!<br /><br />What a blessing these two girls are to us! During the month of January--Sanctity of Human Life Month--I thought a lot about how God so perfectly chose these two lives to become part of mine and Bryan's lives. Before He formed the universe, He knew that they would be grafted into our family. In January I listened to the two-day Focus on the Family radio programs about <a href="http://listen.family.org/daily/A000002417.cfm">Abby Johnson</a>, the Planned Parenthood director from Bryan/College Station whose life was transformed during the 40 Days for Life campaign in 2009. Focus on the Family also aired the unforgettable story of <a href="http://listen.family.org/daily/A000002402.cfm">Jacqueline Ivel</a> who tearfully shared her story of nearly being persuaded, as a young teen, to have a partial-birth abortion but chose instead to give birth and parent her child.<br /><br />I've never considered myself to be much of an activist. Oh, I have opinions--strong ones. And I am outspoken, but I've not ever <span style="font-style: italic;">acted </span>much on my convictions. I have always been straightforward with people concerning my pro-life stance, but it struck me during the month of January that as the mother of two precious lives, I should be doing more to spread the word that adoption is the most wonderful option for a birthmom who is not yet ready to parent her unborn child.<br /><br />Every day I am able to gaze into the eyes of my two daughters and see bright futures because of birthmoms who chose to give them life. I am able to listen to the giggles and coos of these two beautiful girls because their birthmoms chose what did not come easy. They could have taken the "safe, easy" way out, but they chose to carry to term the life growing inside of them. They chose to endure labor and delivery of a child they knew they would not hold each day. Through deep, unselfish devotion, they chose to give life to their children.<br /><br />I was looking at Emma Leigh this morning in church as she slept on my lap. I traced my finger along her dark eyebrows and ran my knuckles down her thick hairline. She looks nothing like I do, but never has there been a moment during her lifetime that I have considered her anything but my child--a gift of love to me when her birthmom chose life for her. <br /><br />Then at the end of this morning's service we watched a video about the <a href="http://www.40daysforlife.com/">40 Days for Life</a> campaign that starts this week. I could sense God speaking to me about being a part of this. I don't know yet what part I'll play, but I know God wants me to do more. I am going to be seeking His plan for me. Pray about how He would have you be a part of the miracle of adoption!Hayleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10039476131558786642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066570856193551623.post-4761285123195609282009-11-22T09:13:00.007-06:002009-11-22T13:17:52.534-06:00What Adoption IsSix years ago this month, Bryan and I were at the end of a 5 year infertility journey, and we were beginning a much longer, often more difficult, journey into adoption. Through this journey we have learned so much and have had our faith shaken and strengthened, shaken and strengthened over and over again.<br /><br />Before we began this journey of ours, we often looked at adoption and shook our heads. Like many of you, we saw pictures of orphanages in foreign countries, and we thought, "What a tragedy?" We thought of birthmoms and wondered, "How could a mother give her child <strong>up</strong>? How could she just give her child <strong>away</strong>?" We have come to discover though that this is not even close to what it's about. Adoption is so much more. It's about a birthmom giving her child <strong>life</strong>--giving her child <strong>more</strong>. It's about her making a selfless choice to allow someone else to raise her child and call that child their own. It's about sacrificing her desires for the well-being of her child.<br /><br />And we've learned much more about adoption. When we brought Emma Leigh home from the hospital we felt like we knew her inside and out, and we joyfully came home late that Sunday night to a houseful of family and smiles and gloriously happy tears. With Lily Ana though, we've learned that adoption isn't always a joyful experience. When we brought her home, we carried a grieving baby who we'd known less than two hours into our home. We saw loss and sadness in her eyes as she searched for anything familiar--faces, sounds, smells, and most of all her birthmother.<br /><br />Adoption is coming to love a child that isn't your own flesh and blood and DNA. It's wondering how you could love another child any more than you love the one given to you. It's forgetting that this child wasn't formed inside you and grieving for the loss of never knowing what it will be like to carry life in your womb.<br /><br />And then we've learned that adoption is waiting and waiting and waiting some more. It's waiting for God to give you the heart for adoption. It's waiting for Him to give a birthmom a baby that she loves but knows she can't care for. It's waiting for a birthmom to choose your family to love and nurture her baby. It's waiting for the child to be born. It's waiting for the birthmom to make her final decision. It's waiting for the child to recognize you as her mother. It's waiting for God to do His amazing work of grafting that child into your family just as He so graciously does with us. Adoption is a perfect picture of what the Lord has done for us in selflessly giving His son for us. Through Jesus Christ, God has grafted us into His family.<br /><br />Despite the pain, grief, and loss felt with it, adoption is a miracle. The birth of any child is a miracle, but knowing that God has specifically chosen these children of ours to be ours, is even more of a miracle. He has placed Emma Leigh and Lily Ana into our lives for a purpose. He has chosen these two children out of many, many others. We are honored to be their parents and pray each day that God will give us the strength, wisdom, and knowledge to raise them to be godly young women. November is Adoption Awareness Month, and I hope that you will allow God to speak to you about what part you will have in the miracle of adoption.Hayleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10039476131558786642noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066570856193551623.post-44282350592379780782009-10-20T20:03:00.005-05:002009-10-20T20:42:16.549-05:00My Little Girl is Turning 5!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQfBDjDuOQZv58pzrHSzVzZtoy_Sftc0ECZF8T0cKPi-Aln1P2M6whgswWVL3r0s2dfReGrATmoojTUvOY-eQmTYZ48ygZQCWRS6Tl7vMBMcC6DkSxOBL9Bk0NB8u-925vlncpu_Xsxos/s1600-h/yard.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQfBDjDuOQZv58pzrHSzVzZtoy_Sftc0ECZF8T0cKPi-Aln1P2M6whgswWVL3r0s2dfReGrATmoojTUvOY-eQmTYZ48ygZQCWRS6Tl7vMBMcC6DkSxOBL9Bk0NB8u-925vlncpu_Xsxos/s320/yard.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5394861013595824530" border="0" /></a>Tomorrow Emma Leigh will turn five years old. Five years ago tonight Bryan and I were sitting in a hospital enjoying the time we had with Em's birth family. We would not trade that time for ANYTHING. Twenty-four hours later, we--well, me because Bryan had to suddenly leave the room--got to watch as our first baby girl entered the world. We heard her cry before we ever saw her, and the moment I laid eyes on her I knew my life would never be the same. The nurse carried her to the warmer, did the first APGAR, and then asked if I wanted to carry her to the nursery. What an amazing moment to be the first one to hold her. Tears streamed down my face as I walked from the operating room to the nursery of that small hospital. I stood in amazement as the nurse weighed her and measured her length. Six pounds, five ounces and already she'd made her home in my heart. <br /><br />Fall is my absolute favorite time of year and it's mostly because of what God did during those five days we spent at the hospital before, during, and after Emma Leigh's birth. <a href="http://learningtodelight.blogspot.com/2008/10/ahhhh-its-fall.html">Check out last year's blog for more on that.</a><br /><br />This year, as I was wrapping her birthday presents and writing in her card, I was overwhelmed with the beauty and talent God has blessed this little girl with. She has strikingly dark eyes that sparkle when she smiles, and her smile...it's so full of life and innocence. She can laugh and giggle until she is out of breath, and God has given her an amazing artistic ability. Our pediatrician even thinks she's "gifted" in this area--his words not mine. She can see things that I can't begin to. She is a wonderful big sister and has loved Lily Ana from the moment she laid eyes on her. She has many nicknames for her baby sister including <span style="font-style: italic;">Cupcake</span>, <span style="font-style: italic;">Lillers</span>, and <span style="font-style: italic;">Silly Ana</span>. Emma Leigh is full of adoring affection for Lily Ana.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbXa5YJIawaaorxJQhTtrNgVbOoR1G3S2FPEJreH8PiSHrlcD7jBZ-BN7XK5CuaSCmvmkNHZBYaNbWrVhGf6nbqYKrdK5zvVhhPqjgzwV6h8VzieU-SkO7EM_naGYU2C6tKVUBsDy5dSY/s1600-h/yard3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbXa5YJIawaaorxJQhTtrNgVbOoR1G3S2FPEJreH8PiSHrlcD7jBZ-BN7XK5CuaSCmvmkNHZBYaNbWrVhGf6nbqYKrdK5zvVhhPqjgzwV6h8VzieU-SkO7EM_naGYU2C6tKVUBsDy5dSY/s320/yard3.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5394861006924442722" border="0" /></a>And despite the fact that her DNA contains none of my DNA she is incredibly like me! She makes facial expressions that I do; she says things that sound just like me; and she asks some of the same questions that I remember asking as a little girl. She wants to know how and why and when and where. But most of all, she sounds like me when she prays. What a humbling experience to hear your child pray and know that she is emulating what she hears!<br /><br />My prayer for her is this..."Lord, grow her into a godly young lady who loves and fears you. Help her to make choices that are pleasing to you, and use her for your service."<br /><br />I love you Emma Leigh! Happy 5th Birthday!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP4O8GH24ngN5JIHREMBpwXABVZOj7V66uzcMavfizHWjizwlyEsxbcRmOpRrKODSYE6q8auhJa9qlx96eqxiq6fIr3ud-2aJXo4X9Fv0-38HcZNgvj5xIWf9Kpi7vot5QXkIyYtf0GMw/s1600-h/yard2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP4O8GH24ngN5JIHREMBpwXABVZOj7V66uzcMavfizHWjizwlyEsxbcRmOpRrKODSYE6q8auhJa9qlx96eqxiq6fIr3ud-2aJXo4X9Fv0-38HcZNgvj5xIWf9Kpi7vot5QXkIyYtf0GMw/s320/yard2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5394861009692103858" border="0" /></a>Hayleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10039476131558786642noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066570856193551623.post-20596577741036413612009-10-15T17:07:00.006-05:002009-10-15T18:12:07.493-05:00The Power of IntercessionWHEW! Whoever said going from one child to two children was like going from one to ten was wrong! It's like having 20! I haven't posted in a while, and the aforementioned twenty children would be the cause.<br /><br />We have really struggled. Lily Ana has reflux, so we've spent many evenings holding a screaming baby; we've had many sleepless nights; and we're feeding cereal to a two month old so that she'll get all of the Prevacid ready-tab she's taking twice each day. We've wondered what happened to the baby we prayed for who coos and smiles and sleeps all night. We've wondered if she knows us; if she realizes we're her family. She tends to be very solemn most of the time, and at her two-month check up the nurse said, "O.K. So she's smiling and cooing now...?" And I had to say sadly, "No..." Dr. Mac reminded me that she was a preemie and that the reflux probably is causing a lot of discomfort. He said if she isn't smiling and cooing by four months, he'll want her to see a specialist to check for any delays. (GIANT SIGH) As if I don't have enough to worry about as a Mom!<br /><br />My mom is so wonderful to call and check up on her granddaughters. One evening about three weeks ago when she called, Lily Ana was screaming. She was inconsolable. Nothing calmed her. She had a full tummy, dry diaper, calming lotion, and warm socks! Knowing that I couldn't talk on the phone, Mom quickly told me she loved me and reminded me that she and Dad pray for us every day. It felt so good to be reminded that my parents take the time to pray for my family. After we hung up I began thinking about my own quiet times with God. They have become so brief, and honestly, there have been days that I am so tired and so discouraged that I have not been <span style="font-style: italic;">able </span>to pray.<br /><br />Then last week I talked with one of the case workers at our wonderful adoption agency. Sara has been our case worker with both of our girls' adoptions, and she is a matter-of-fact, down-to-earth lady. I had called her a few days before to set up our three-month meeting with her at New Life, and she was returning my call. It had been an especially rough day, and I was feeling very low. She asked how I was, and I began pouring out my heart to her. She was so understanding and her words so comforting to me. Before we hung up I asked her to please pray for me, and she assured me that she would.<br /><br />The very next day I began to feel such peace. Lily Ana had begun smiling little smiles and making soft little sounds, but in the last week she has begun smiling so much. And I love the quiet moments where she makes tiny little sounds that I know are her way of communicating love to me. Her little personality is really beginning to develop, and I'm soaking it all up. I have yet to get a GOOD picture of it, but I've gotten a little glimpse to share.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwO1X9xrI0Zh4mcjfXpHa6u8dhwF6paTqxpOlbDpxu0gW1hR97NrVz_wJvi_HxUTipUaVhZblhFqdy6jMeBQzP28FBKnpMrc0nRAkPrRFQiqKrZx1Dl61W64JPYFKPYJuB702q78oyGFA/s1600-h/IMG_2193.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwO1X9xrI0Zh4mcjfXpHa6u8dhwF6paTqxpOlbDpxu0gW1hR97NrVz_wJvi_HxUTipUaVhZblhFqdy6jMeBQzP28FBKnpMrc0nRAkPrRFQiqKrZx1Dl61W64JPYFKPYJuB702q78oyGFA/s320/IMG_2193.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5392968274536303666" border="0" /></a><br />Over the weekend, we got to get away for a few days. We all four went to San Antonio and to Sea World. As we traveled, I thought about the prayers that had been lifted up for my family and me. I felt like I really understood intercession. People who cared about me had prayed on my behalf. They had prayed for my needs at a time when I couldn't. What a blessing to be loved so dearly by family and friends, but what a bigger blessing to be loved by the Creator God!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEienKTuBhugt143XFCAqKarlGDqoGCmIZTOl4C4IBfqZpKkCyrLOvSvDn-WBwS9JBAgrayLkBfbTOdF4HoYOYqnaCSARInuxoIQhp5hK_SSIHYi0JwKCaggGeDhryQDqkIOX-SaAlNNYDQ/s1600-h/IMG_2263.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEienKTuBhugt143XFCAqKarlGDqoGCmIZTOl4C4IBfqZpKkCyrLOvSvDn-WBwS9JBAgrayLkBfbTOdF4HoYOYqnaCSARInuxoIQhp5hK_SSIHYi0JwKCaggGeDhryQDqkIOX-SaAlNNYDQ/s320/IMG_2263.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5392963391801163298" border="0" /></a>Hayleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10039476131558786642noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066570856193551623.post-84684685315311642182009-09-04T13:59:00.002-05:002009-09-04T14:48:44.858-05:00The Ties that BindWhat a roller coaster of emotions we've experienced the last month and a half! Just when we got to the top of a hill, we came plunging down only to twist and turn and climb and fall some more! We've experienced joy and grief--the top and the bottom of the roller coaster and everything in between! And some days, it's all come at the same time!<br /><br />Adoption itself is a roller coaster ride! When we brought Lily Ana home from New Life back in July, I was honestly in a state of shock. I couldn't cry; I couldn't laugh; I couldn't do much of anything. I kept looking at this little stranger thinking, "Is this for real? Is this really what we've been waiting all this time for?" I didn't feel the instant connection with Lily Ana that I remembered feeling with Emma Leigh. Things were so different. At the point that we first laid eyes on Lily Ana, we had already been with Emma Leigh and her birth family for four full days! <br /><br />It seemed so strange to be bringing home this little helpless person who we didn't know and who didn't know us! I saw grief in her eyes. I saw grief in the way she wouldn't look into our eyes. I felt her grief for her birhthmom whose voice she had come to know as comforting but no longer heard. It was strange to know that someone this tiny at just a month old was experiencing an emotion that some go their whole lives without knowing. <br /><br />Even I had never experienced grief the way that my own child was experiencing. I had never lost anyone close to me. Sure I had friends who had moved away and saw other friends grieve over deaths of loved ones. And I know I shared in the grief that Emma Leigh's birthmom felt during the days that we spent with her at the hospital. But to grieve over the death of someone close to me was foreign, something I had never experienced. Until last week that is.<br /><br />My Grandpa Grimes fell and broke his leg the day that Lily Ana turned one week old. I had taken her the day before to meet him and Grandma, and I'm so thankful that I did. He held her and looked at her toes and said, "Hello Little One," in that sweet drawl of his. He was nervous about holding her because he hadn't been feeling well and was pretty weak. I stood very close to him, and assured him that she was safe in his arms.<br /><br />My mom was at the house the next day when the call came that Grandpa had fallen and was being taken by ambulance to the hospital. They thought he'd broken one or perhaps both hips. Something inside of me knew right then that Grandpa would never come home. Each winter he was one of the elderly most at risk for contracting the flu and pneumonia, but God continued to give him health, healing, and life. I knew though that if he ever got <span style="font-style: italic;">down, </span>he probably wouldn't make it back <span style="font-style: italic;">up</span>.<br /><br />The next days were a whirlwind of tests to see if his heart was strong enough to withstand surgery on the broken femur just below the hip joint. In doing these tests, doctors determined he had 100 percent blockage in the major artery on the right side of his neck which accounted for the weakness, dizziness, and fainting he'd experienced in the days before his fall. Surgery would have to be done on this before it could be done on the leg, and it would have to be done quickly. <br /><br />Following the surgery, he was placed in ICU. Over the next week, he was placed on life support and a feeding tube, and we thought for sure each day would be his last. He did have the surgery on his leg, and had to receive several units of blood afterward. He was eventually moved from the hospital to a long-term care facility nearby where it is believed he aspirated and the pneumonia in his lungs continued to get worse. We were all called in one morning because his breathing had become so poor and oxygen levels so low that the long-term care facility had rushed him back to the hospital. <br /><br />He was readmitted to ICU, placed back on life support and a feeding tube, and the next days were filled with difficult decisions. The nurses seemed to be more optimistic than things appeared, and on the morning of August 24th, Grandma decided that he'd been through enough. She wanted the ventilator removed. After doing this, his feeding tube was moved from his nose to his mouth and was moved to a regular room where he would be made comfortable, and we could wait for the inevitable. Sometime that day, he became more alert and asked that the feeding tube be taken out of his throat because it was so irritating to him. He began talking to those that were there, and he was awake almost the entire day. My aunt even fed him a small amount of pudding after he asked, "Where's my supper?" Many of us got to go see him and talk with him. I was one of those and will cherish that little bit of time I got to see him that evening. <br /><br />That night the nurses gave him something to help him relax and go to sleep. He never woke up. The next day his breathing became more and more labored, and that evening most of my family gathered at the hospital to say goodbye to the patriarch of our family. We cried lots of tears, and I especially was heartbroken when Emma Leigh said to him, "Bye Grandpa. I love you." It was very hard to leave that night knowing that we would probably never see him alive again. <br /><br />Early the next morning, my mom called to tell me that he had gone to be with Jesus just after midnight. The next few days were filled with family and tears. We spent time at my Grandma's house and at the funeral home, and I grieved quietly for the Grandpa that I'd lost. I sat and rocked my little Lily Ana and clung to both of my girls. I recalled wonderful memories of the Grandpa that I loved so much. I heard his voice say to me, "Well hello, Hayley," in his sweet, soft, calming drawl. <br /><br />His funeral was amazing! The service began with Bryan singing "The Anchor Holds." In the days since, I have realized that Grandpa was a lot like that anchor in the song. He was such a rock in my life. He was constant and steady. He was always there. Our family was very close because of the love that he and Grandma had for each other and for each of us. They are the tie that binds us all together.<br /><br />And in the days since the funeral, I have come to look at Lily Ana differently. I don't see her as a stranger now. I see her as a little tiny person who needs me and who depends on me for her every need to be met. We have a bond that cannot be broken. And just like Grandpa was a rock in my life--a constant steadiness--she needs that from me. It seems strange, but I now realize grief has bound us together. It took me experiencing loss to feel love for my sweet little baby. What a gift!Hayleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10039476131558786642noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066570856193551623.post-80552258340870642152009-08-12T19:39:00.003-05:002009-08-12T19:48:33.088-05:00It's Been Three Weeks...Tomorrow Lily Ana will be three weeks old, and yes, we are extremely sleep-deprived! We are falling more and more in love with her everyday, and her big sister is so sweet to her.<br /><br />Em was explaining to me why she likes the show "3, 2, 1 Penguins," and we began discussing that the two human characters are twins. She wanted to know what twins were, and I explained that they were brothers or sisters who were in their mommy's tummy at the same time. She got a big smile and said, "I was in a birthmom's tummy and so was Lily Ana!" I realized what a connection the two of them will have because they were both "in a birthmom's tummy!" God is good!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj34EEpr-SoSBJgDoE-8JW8qfmEWE1Cmi2ldqXl3oo_69ikjOHM_jUO4i9hz96ofna9jKLEaIgI-VKSunMv2qNHD9Ts1Up0IgFZjORnBxXJE0K1NciYQeV_OMPlHAtKoQb8Wq6y3sK5MzE/s1600-h/IMG_1885.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj34EEpr-SoSBJgDoE-8JW8qfmEWE1Cmi2ldqXl3oo_69ikjOHM_jUO4i9hz96ofna9jKLEaIgI-VKSunMv2qNHD9Ts1Up0IgFZjORnBxXJE0K1NciYQeV_OMPlHAtKoQb8Wq6y3sK5MzE/s320/IMG_1885.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5369243411159053170" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimG8cXYmDhyphenhyphenFqXmsr64v5RTinxrQB-iTy55F4gb4zFNNc-VpYE5gLFDXTPe4TP-eRUCyldjRi57PhAiTp6PW3bQayoLCa6ztv5OfPkhEom7OqCGgkLtJSbJYunrNDHbx-_Ka1zuYzZks4/s1600-h/IMG_1864.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimG8cXYmDhyphenhyphenFqXmsr64v5RTinxrQB-iTy55F4gb4zFNNc-VpYE5gLFDXTPe4TP-eRUCyldjRi57PhAiTp6PW3bQayoLCa6ztv5OfPkhEom7OqCGgkLtJSbJYunrNDHbx-_Ka1zuYzZks4/s320/IMG_1864.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5369243409206802690" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd-Dx98leCTv3gfstq8A8EcsGQrB8hI72k4FRlgCkFrX5hHaMdsrgZv6q4fvOIvryxuU-JueFj12SL96iVrFg0sZ_gWbV3rUtRbGT2pZIXX57v0dXNYrdrb2yP3ZAW8DN2DYqKW2_yjCU/s1600-h/IMG_1842.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd-Dx98leCTv3gfstq8A8EcsGQrB8hI72k4FRlgCkFrX5hHaMdsrgZv6q4fvOIvryxuU-JueFj12SL96iVrFg0sZ_gWbV3rUtRbGT2pZIXX57v0dXNYrdrb2yP3ZAW8DN2DYqKW2_yjCU/s320/IMG_1842.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5369243396410854898" border="0" /></a>Hayleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10039476131558786642noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066570856193551623.post-23006688347813593192009-07-27T19:13:00.006-05:002009-07-28T22:15:31.118-05:00Remember...It has happened! God has added another baby girl to our family! Lily Ana Faith was born on Thursday, and we were able to bring her home on Saturday! What an amazing day it was--full of raw emotion to say the least. We met Lily Ana's birthmom only twice before the day she so selflessly placed her tiny, helpless little body in our arms and hearts. On that day we experienced joy & sadness; exhilaration & heartache; and most of all love. And what a day it was!<br /><br />With Lily Ana's placement in our home, I've been much more aware of the ignorance of people when it comes to adoption. I don't mean that in a callous way, but in the way that ignorance is simply "not knowing" about something. Several people have said to me, "I just don't know how anyone could GIVE this baby away!" I've just looked at them in disbelief. If only they could have been there. If only they could have seen the red, swollen eyes of a sweet young lady who'd been crying for hours before and will continue to cry for hours, days, months, and even years after placement. If only they could have seen the tear stains on Lily Ana's blanket--the blanket that her birthmom chose for her and slept with so that she would continue to know her smell when she came home with us. If only...<br /><br />The choice was not one to give this baby AWAY, but instead it was to give this baby MORE. Lily Ana's birthmom prayed over her decision for months. She agonized over profiles of families and didn't find the one she was looking for. While she was praying, we were also praying. We prayed daily for God to give us THE baby He wanted us to have, not just any baby, but THE baby. And as the Holy Spirit so perfectly does, He laid it on the hearts of the sweet, wise ladies at New Life to show this birthmom one more profile--ours. And then there was peace. She knew. We knew. He knew.<br /><br />And now here we are, still filled with so many emotions. Ours is joy and excitement and happiness, and Lily Ana's birthmom is still filled with so many emotions too. I pray that she is experiencing peace about her decision, but she is certainly still feeling sorrow and grief and misery. I know many of you have sent us messages of congratulations, and I know that many of you will do that once you read this. Thank you for that, and thank you for praying for us as we've walked this portion of our journey.<br /><br />I have one request of you however. Remember the love felt on the day we brought Lily Ana home? It was the love of an adoptive family for the sweet birthmom placing her baby in their arms and for the new baby being welcomed into their hearts. But most of all, it was the love of a birthmom for the precious baby girl she carried in her womb. And with that love comes so much pain, so much heartache, so much grief. Remember her. Remember her selflessness. And remember to pray for her.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRoxlX-S7q3d7U2Ur7yOnkxMNJWQr5Epk3Q1gT0BlCrTL5PGCOWdHLtvXyTlexoodll7UzkcNaXLKOOP2zYj-zUgQac8ldJmCeQeUqBrtL-rV-Iy510iL5RColCa93qFAjZJiV1Q6IfrA/s1600-h/Lily+Ana.jpeg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRoxlX-S7q3d7U2Ur7yOnkxMNJWQr5Epk3Q1gT0BlCrTL5PGCOWdHLtvXyTlexoodll7UzkcNaXLKOOP2zYj-zUgQac8ldJmCeQeUqBrtL-rV-Iy510iL5RColCa93qFAjZJiV1Q6IfrA/s320/Lily+Ana.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5363715031181003042" border="0" /></a>Hayleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10039476131558786642noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066570856193551623.post-44691508033749722692009-07-03T21:53:00.000-05:002009-07-03T21:53:26.969-05:00Feels Like...<span style="font-style: italic;">Well, it feels like a lot of things right about now--the first being that it feels like I haven't blogged in quite a while!</span> It's not for having nothing to write about, it's just that we've been so busy with all that summer brings! My sweet friend Erin motivated me to get writing though! I don't know if it was so much what she said, although it was very sweet, or just that I know at least ONE person reads this, but either way, I'm ready to write!<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><br />It also feels like I've accomplished a thing or two!</span> I've painted the living room, entry way, and two small hallways <a href="http://www.materials-world.com/paint-colors/behr/behr-colorsmart/behr-colorsmart-37.htm">Behr Gobi Deser</a>t thanks to help from Bryan and my dad, and I've painted all of the pulls on the doors and drawers in the bathroom and kitchen so that they are no longer an old, tarnished-looking brass! They are now a <a href="http://www.rustoleum.com/Product.asp?frm_product_id=21&SBL=1">Rustoleum Hammered Finish Brown</a>, and they do look great! I still have some door knobs throughout the house to go, but I'm pretty excited about how they are turning out! I've also done a little scrapbooking. I am officially now only one year behind! I just finished scrapbooking our trip to the Frio River last summer on the Fourth of July. It could be worse, right?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFPGxx7vVsvJFxdMXt2fDXT9usBWzFDFkHmj83jyb6syOT_Aphz4dcrMH_4v7Cax_DpkIYuVrSo7vZgRilL6bAK7Bxs7MK2MliEApbBhIRPnevOU0MYqTig9K9TD9NcTwxG3WbbemUCmE/s1600-h/paint+2.jpeg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFPGxx7vVsvJFxdMXt2fDXT9usBWzFDFkHmj83jyb6syOT_Aphz4dcrMH_4v7Cax_DpkIYuVrSo7vZgRilL6bAK7Bxs7MK2MliEApbBhIRPnevOU0MYqTig9K9TD9NcTwxG3WbbemUCmE/s320/paint+2.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5354425023575702610" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">Despite the heat making it feel like it's 120 degrees outside,</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> it feels like summer for other reasons too! </span>We got to take a little trip to San Antonio for a few days and spent some time at Sea World. Emma Leigh loved it! She is at a really good age for enjoying the rides and the shows. She rode her first roller coaster and got to feed a dolphin! God was so gracious in so many ways on our trip! Bryan took care of all of our reservations and tickets, and he bought us each a Fun Pass so we can visit as many times as we want until the end of the year. As we paid our $15 for parking the first evening we were there, the attendant suggested we upgrade just one of our tickets to a Season Pass, so that we would not have to pay parking each time we visit. When we upgraded, they gave us our $15 back in the form of a voucher, a book of coupons to use in the park, and a cool Sea World refillable cup! The only souvenir Em wanted was a dolphin that only cost us $4.99 because of the voucher, and we were able to fill the cup we got with ice water for FREE! And then there was the little <a href="http://www.tangle.com/view_video.php?viewkey=bef31c3bb99e4dc2c7d6">"Hedge of Protection"</a> He provided when about four vehicles were broken into at our hotel, one nearly stolen outside our window, and our truck was not one of them! God was so good to us!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJdLYXPm1l2Tn9WRqRfb97cPBcmQsL4awSrTQcen9vcSKR6FSNKw-rXqT_M1p2Bwb9FyqmRj7Aa9dhmGSvN5tC1TRnKaaABQHELR9R68QfTC2pryvc8XIGR940UfaNgYP7tox9-5F9biE/s1600-h/Dolphin.jpeg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJdLYXPm1l2Tn9WRqRfb97cPBcmQsL4awSrTQcen9vcSKR6FSNKw-rXqT_M1p2Bwb9FyqmRj7Aa9dhmGSvN5tC1TRnKaaABQHELR9R68QfTC2pryvc8XIGR940UfaNgYP7tox9-5F9biE/s320/Dolphin.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5354396832493790786" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTkTudO7KMisret24a7urEcgJOk9Av88PE98Uo910MP0jxHwNUXtjx-VkL9LmR1NFhwcPwQIYF6oIxtmhGznY5v_dji7QbBdfsOlSFPAU0ldhAOFuSLl3ZCbm4ovoRukQX3TS3YeMR1gI/s1600-h/Coaster.jpeg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTkTudO7KMisret24a7urEcgJOk9Av88PE98Uo910MP0jxHwNUXtjx-VkL9LmR1NFhwcPwQIYF6oIxtmhGznY5v_dji7QbBdfsOlSFPAU0ldhAOFuSLl3ZCbm4ovoRukQX3TS3YeMR1gI/s320/Coaster.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5354396837102337714" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">My sister Amy just had her first precious baby girl, so I'm feeling like a new aunt these days!</span> I helped her decorate the nursery, and it turned out so pretty! We made these cute canvases to hang on one wall of the nursery, and we painted letters and flowers for two other walls. Briley Mischelle arrived Tuesday weighing only 6 lbs., 8 oz. I saw her today, and she's down to 6 lbs.!! She's so tiny, but she's so perfect!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFcWImMxV_ewzccFSXmp3JQtVcLq5uZ0O9MrEkVlXBd0lIuajqYcIF0NwIDl_bqN6OEOoP3LodFU1UPz0CH6cGmc61OmW4fWZ_xE84_Lpjoa9FmD-koywvbIDLQhlOdKQ1THlna5W3G_8/s1600-h/IMG_0967.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFcWImMxV_ewzccFSXmp3JQtVcLq5uZ0O9MrEkVlXBd0lIuajqYcIF0NwIDl_bqN6OEOoP3LodFU1UPz0CH6cGmc61OmW4fWZ_xE84_Lpjoa9FmD-koywvbIDLQhlOdKQ1THlna5W3G_8/s320/IMG_0967.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5354423253188664770" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjZ0MIRBP4PN8HSdl-KMF5twmER262HqEyQXY5ntvf0RpMzyccq8C4B4Ukh-jx6cVFqcN_UflFH9mf5REYD6l5KOgOxIfpJCVNXy-k4HQv1a_6vqkIKq7AhODSg0EsyUiUt1ZAfxulUuw/s1600-h/Briley.jpeg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjZ0MIRBP4PN8HSdl-KMF5twmER262HqEyQXY5ntvf0RpMzyccq8C4B4Ukh-jx6cVFqcN_UflFH9mf5REYD6l5KOgOxIfpJCVNXy-k4HQv1a_6vqkIKq7AhODSg0EsyUiUt1ZAfxulUuw/s320/Briley.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5354396390356250850" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">I've always loved taking pictures, and I feel like I have a feel for some creativity with photography. </span>Amy let me take belly shots of her, and of course I have a great little model that lives with me! It's been fun experimenting with my camera, and I've captured some pretty awesome moments!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvvpmnKEPn_ce7TeHuHQK49Y07ZQTj_rbPHDuVN5c8UIjpXJCL1JIkwm0jwqUaJZ3kkNWV1rCAOUp-_43ePXw2YmXf_bGx1aqUjah0aAALOHdCIpfjAngu6AObEEP1uZ6JOS6Q94p5PEY/s1600-h/Dancing.jpeg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvvpmnKEPn_ce7TeHuHQK49Y07ZQTj_rbPHDuVN5c8UIjpXJCL1JIkwm0jwqUaJZ3kkNWV1rCAOUp-_43ePXw2YmXf_bGx1aqUjah0aAALOHdCIpfjAngu6AObEEP1uZ6JOS6Q94p5PEY/s320/Dancing.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5354398749032037906" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYBPypc5X8Fbiwp7xAzvyP3nr5W1qqrg-W2bqO2W4pNgTIyelgvv8YTWIB2g3VW1aJ7JrcXvt5nVHsuLbutEjS7NRCjBb24Rg2q2xeaZc85Eg1hqbEYFVLatnSYHBOiEstdN4tBQgYgoA/s1600-h/Amy.jpeg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYBPypc5X8Fbiwp7xAzvyP3nr5W1qqrg-W2bqO2W4pNgTIyelgvv8YTWIB2g3VW1aJ7JrcXvt5nVHsuLbutEjS7NRCjBb24Rg2q2xeaZc85Eg1hqbEYFVLatnSYHBOiEstdN4tBQgYgoA/s320/Amy.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5354398755740747922" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">And then there's the feeling that prompted me to begin writing this post a few weeks back.</span> The whole "Feels Like..." title comes from the Michael English song, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtWTRpxWVBA">"Feels Like Redemption."</a> My very first blog post, written almost a year ago, ended with these words...<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">"I find myself, at this point in my life though, needing a reminder from God about delighting myself. I'm busy being a wife, mother, daughter, sister, granddaughter, and teacher. My time is consumed with things far from the things God showed me meant "delighting." So my prayer is that this blog not only allows me to share my life experiences with others, but that it will help me to remember to give Him my all!"</span><br /><br /></div>My life had become so consumed with doing and being and living that my relationship with the Lord had become hazy. At another point in my life, I'd been in the same place. I taught at a school where gossip, malice, and bitterness were a part of the norm on my team. I fell into a pattern of gossiping myself and hated going to work everyday. The end result, after months of back-stabbing and placing blame, was a huge argument with someone who I thought had been one of my best friends. I was deeply hurt and did not return to teaching at that school the following year. I have carried with me hurt and anger and have allowed that argument to define who I am. My deepest regret of all from the situation was that I had tarnished my Christian witness to people there.<br /><br />When I began using Facebook, I searched regularly for my friend who I'd had the argument with, but I could never find her. Several weeks ago, I found her through another friend's profile! I excitedly sent her a friend request, and she quickly replied with a message saying, "I hope you know that I think highly of you. I have few regrets in life, but our argument is one of them." I almost cried, not from sadness, but from relief. I had not mentioned the disagreement we'd had out of fear, but the Lord had taken what could have been a terrible situation and reopened a door for me to show what He has done in my life during the past three years. I'm so thankful for forgiveness, for redemption, and for grace! What an amazing God we serve!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfZDmIOejMSK99rhTalLgew0UhFbPqWzJOLfSmPf6ECEUo_o8HrC0IsnVZ33cPS_59NmkaW42fhM0Fwn8PrchtyMFdwaZxPofI2AhcF4xJXIXRPVuM5JH1WookdNEwHueerlxw_unBxr8/s1600-h/flower.jpeg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfZDmIOejMSK99rhTalLgew0UhFbPqWzJOLfSmPf6ECEUo_o8HrC0IsnVZ33cPS_59NmkaW42fhM0Fwn8PrchtyMFdwaZxPofI2AhcF4xJXIXRPVuM5JH1WookdNEwHueerlxw_unBxr8/s320/flower.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5354423255963812498" border="0" /></a>Hayleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10039476131558786642noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066570856193551623.post-40092429524215872212009-06-08T13:21:00.007-05:002009-06-08T19:57:32.826-05:00Summertime<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaocHnUnvFs4ek8gTaEQ_K2pvDcRFfbWePdfvqay9E9Xq9GDG5Imu1shgExA3m-Ro7tWVZAWwe0mnxGDMWyn_44EaEsSrrd5Dt0JJ3i8CmrP9ToOb1FEElzkpXjCrKr4QYQEgaByCmWWA/s1600-h/citrus-centerpiece.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 287px; height: 260px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaocHnUnvFs4ek8gTaEQ_K2pvDcRFfbWePdfvqay9E9Xq9GDG5Imu1shgExA3m-Ro7tWVZAWwe0mnxGDMWyn_44EaEsSrrd5Dt0JJ3i8CmrP9ToOb1FEElzkpXjCrKr4QYQEgaByCmWWA/s320/citrus-centerpiece.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345026514334382978" border="0" /></a>Every time I write the word <span style="font-style: italic;">summertime</span>, all I can think of is Country Time Lemonade! I enjoy summer not just because I don't have to get up early each day, but because of the time that I have to spend doing whatever I want or need to do. Usually I have a list in my head--or written down--of things I want to accomplish over the summer. And it usually takes me about three weeks to wind down, get settled into a summer schedule, and begin accomplishing my to-do list. By that time I'm busy directing our church's Vacation Bible School and before I know it July is over! As we all know school starts in August, so that doesn't leave me much time to check things off of my list. I usually end the summer feeling a real sense of disappointment in myself and the things left undone.<br /><br />Last week, after I finished up at school on Monday, Emma Leigh and I got to spend the whole week together. We ate lunch with Bryan one day. We spent another day with my sisters and nieces. Another day we just stayed home and cleaned house at a nice, slow pace. It was so refreshing to not be on any particular schedule and to get to spend so much time with Em. This weekend though, I started making my summertime list of things to do in my head, and I began feeling that sense of disappointment already!<br /><br />I was feeling sorry for myself because I don't always get everything done that I'd like to. Since Bryan is a teacher too, he's off with Em and me during the summer. This sometimes puts quite a crimp in my plans! We enjoy doing things together, but our schedules don't always mesh! And I end up feeling miserable because I don't get to do what I want. (Sounds a little childish now that it's in writing!)<br /><br />So today, we got up and went to work-out at 8:00 a.m. despite the whiny "I don't want to" coming from Emma Leigh. My sister met us there, and she and I got to work out and talk together. It was very refreshing! Afterward Bryan, Em, and myself ran errands together, and then came home for our first official summertime lunch together! That too was refreshing! On the way home I thought to myself, "Maybe this summer is going to turn out to be more productive than I had first imagined!"<br /><br />On my to-do list is purchasing a new camera; taking lots of pictures with my new camera; painting all of the hardware in my bathrooms and kitchen; getting caught up on my scrapbooking; cleaning closets; and painting the living room. I bought the camera today and have painted the pulls on my bathroom cabinets and drawers! I'm off to a good start already!<br /><br />I want to wake up every morning this summer saying, "This is the day the Lord has made. I <span style="font-weight: bold;">will</span> rejoice and be glad in it!" I want to experience joy rather than defeat! I want to be able to enjoy every moment rather than dreading the end of summertime! And I just might drink some of that Country Time Lemonade as I sit and relax!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkDnu4kPeq8K9jiqEZlJy85qeaIcIlsLgH4UG1_FteYICKiq63oTkJVerRc8ccQR0kpP9Q5GRA9ITMn3Z-hQslOloUXFg_9HTVLL8tCk7QjcMAo1QEo7MZnZ74upbtuS-_sh2bQo9-Qh4/s1600-h/lemon.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkDnu4kPeq8K9jiqEZlJy85qeaIcIlsLgH4UG1_FteYICKiq63oTkJVerRc8ccQR0kpP9Q5GRA9ITMn3Z-hQslOloUXFg_9HTVLL8tCk7QjcMAo1QEo7MZnZ74upbtuS-_sh2bQo9-Qh4/s320/lemon.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345025819550585170" border="0" /></a>Hayleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10039476131558786642noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066570856193551623.post-70434065714917528952009-05-16T14:24:00.005-05:002009-05-16T15:19:14.414-05:00In the Waiting, He's in ControlTo say the last month has been a busy one would be putting things too lightly! And that would not begin to scratch the surface of the roller coaster ride that it seems our family has ridden! For several weeks I've wanted to write my feelings and thoughts here, but I just couldn't find the right words. It took an overnight field trip with my fourth graders to make me finally realize what God has been trying to say to me in the midst of all that has happened.<br /><br />Many of you know our story. You know that God allowed us to adopt a tiny baby girl who has grown into a smart, funny, beautiful preschooler. Many of you also know that nearly a year ago we began the journey toward adopting a second child. We have felt such peace in knowing that God already has another birthmother and baby picked out for us and that in His perfect time He will allow our families to unite. In fact, we were chosen by a sweet little birthmom named Frances, but after the birth of her tiny little baby boy, she chose to parent him. We were of course a little saddened, but in a sense we were relieved. I had begun to worry about timing and issues with this baby's birthfather, and so I actually felt peace when Frances chose to nurture this little life. Since then, our agency has shown our profile to two other birthmoms, and we know that God's time is perfect.<br /><br />The past month has also brought about uncertainty in more areas than our family. My job has been a source of great concern for me too. Teaching at a private school does not come with the stability of teaching in the public school system. I've spent countless days worrying over whether or not I will actually have a job next school year. I know that getting a teaching position elsewhere would not be difficult, but I love where I am. God has allowed me to teach in a setting where I have had the privilege of leading two students to Christ, and Emma Leigh is able to attend school there where she is learning so many wonderful things. So I've been thinking about other career choices. I love taking pictures. Could I do something with photography? I love scrapbooking. Could I help people with their albums? I enjoy organizing and planning. Is there something there? But again, I know that God is in control, and that He has a plan for my career and family.<br /><br />I've also watched more than one marriage begin to crumble. I have several friends who have been struggling with their marital relationships, and it has broken my heart to see what they are encountering. Seeing families close to me being ripped apart by Satan's schemes causes me to feel angry and immensely saddened. God's plan is for families to serve Him and honor Him, but once again I know that God has all things in His control.<br /><br />And then I went on this field trip with my class. I received a generous grant that allowed us to take the trip, so I have spent months planning, not wanting to spend more money than we were given. But things began going wrong from the very beginning. We arrived in Austin an hour later than planned; our lunch spot could not accommodate us; and then there was the hotel! Upon arrival, we were told that we would be expected to pay state and city taxes, an expense we were not supposed to pay, and that the water would be off for about an hour as it was being maintained. In addition, the abrupt young lady who was assisting me told me that they no longer serve free breakfast because their status had been updated to a "full" hotel. <br /><br />The next day, our bus battery was dead when we attempted to start it. The small museum we were to tour could not accommodate us at the time we had planned due to being double booked by larger groups, and a minor mishap with parallel parking our bus resulted in a mirror being ripped from a charter bus. My thoughts were, "What more could go wrong?"<br /><br />On the way home, I prayed, "God what do you want to show me in all of this?" As I drove, I began singing quietly and trying to clear my mind. I began to realize that God was showing me that He is in control. You see, through a failed placement, uncertainty in my job, and faltering marriages, I have <span style="font-style: italic;">known </span>that God was in control, but in each of these situations there is nothing <span style="font-style: italic;">I</span> can do to change things. On this trip though, <span style="font-style: italic;">I</span> was in control. <span style="font-style: italic;">I</span> was in charge. <span style="font-style: italic;">I</span> had done the planning. <span style="font-style: italic;">I</span> had made the reservations. It was about what <span style="font-style: italic;">I</span> had done. God showed me that despite all of my planning, <span style="font-style: italic;">He</span> was still in control. <br /><br />So now, I'm back to waiting. Waiting to see what's next. Waiting to see what God has in store. No more of <span style="font-style: italic;">me </span>trying to do it, but rather giving Him control.Hayleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10039476131558786642noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066570856193551623.post-64832986461662966032009-04-12T18:32:00.003-05:002009-04-12T19:07:38.754-05:00The Greatest Gift of AllSo I have a friend who is going through a really tough time. She is struggling with some health issues and is discouraged because she simply physically can't do the things she wants and should be able to do. She and her family have just bought their first home, and she wants to be doing so many things to make it theirs. But she just can't...<br /><br />Last night as I lay awake in bed to the sounds of a screaming child with an earache, I began praying. "Lord, please ease Em's discomfort so that we can all get to sleep!" I prayed. Then my thoughts turned to this friend. I had sent her an e-mail yesterday telling her that I would pray for her to be encouraged in the midst of her trials. In my e-mail I also reminded her that God loves her and has a plan for her.<br /><br />As I lay there, I prayed, "God please do a miracle in her life. Bring healing to her so that she will see how much you love her." Immediately I felt God say to me, "I've already done something to show her how much I love her, and it was really big! This big..." and I envisioned Jesus spreading his arms out wide on a cross.<br /><br />Talk about humbling! My tiny brain was praying for something physical to be done, and God reminded me that the physical is just temporary. He has plans that are eternal. And isn't that what today is all about--celebrating that Emmanuel lived, died, and then rose from the dead? God loved us so much that He sent His only son--royalty as He was--to be born to a poor carpenter in a stable; to live on a filthy, sinful earth; to die a sinner's death in the most horrible way imaginable; as a substitute for us...<br /><br />He loved us this much...<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJnnyWM940Tq8agSsmBF6YNt3TzO0z0ucaS7HmLatErL7GlaN4pN9Z1ozPkeXWzxTILssQe_fP2yUd3ua8-_SObSKB-M8fB4vvc9ggnNB6oeUr7aQNEDjw5-7UNccJFPVqcYzxVqyJQPw/s1600-h/jesus-cross-407x.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJnnyWM940Tq8agSsmBF6YNt3TzO0z0ucaS7HmLatErL7GlaN4pN9Z1ozPkeXWzxTILssQe_fP2yUd3ua8-_SObSKB-M8fB4vvc9ggnNB6oeUr7aQNEDjw5-7UNccJFPVqcYzxVqyJQPw/s320/jesus-cross-407x.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5323960846714736370" border="0" /></a>Hayleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10039476131558786642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066570856193551623.post-36642550709584706852009-04-08T18:13:00.003-05:002009-04-08T18:26:17.458-05:00My Child Has a GiftWe all know our kids are special. We brag on them. We tell people how smart they are, what great artists they are, how well-behaved they are. You get the point.<br /><br />And yes, my daughter is a very smart 4 1/2 year old. And yes, she is an amazing little artist! And yes, MOST of the time she's behaving herself. But...Her true gift?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXMYEb_yYANzQkUsTcK_CJtS-lTst6XYHY8LzRQQEHYEuFoY-1Cfk-WHlAJqpe9aAFwAXrgJZ5rclzkMpv2zzy9Mvnr_6iuDrsijj2A13_2FsBv1LtZU6XIlim8UrjFw7fZzk5lnouDpU/s1600-h/100_3774.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXMYEb_yYANzQkUsTcK_CJtS-lTst6XYHY8LzRQQEHYEuFoY-1Cfk-WHlAJqpe9aAFwAXrgJZ5rclzkMpv2zzy9Mvnr_6iuDrsijj2A13_2FsBv1LtZU6XIlim8UrjFw7fZzk5lnouDpU/s320/100_3774.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322465655728591426" border="0" /></a><br />I know it's probably wrong on several levels, but I love it when she plays with my hair! She's also a great back-scratcher!Hayleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10039476131558786642noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066570856193551623.post-26389385435332068022009-03-20T21:13:00.006-05:002009-03-20T21:43:35.288-05:00Sowin' Seeds and Sunshine<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRV8XTkEcdV2HqV5fIGpzKjHUOAemBjyrhEeObsslpPeoy-dm8zvtg4zezmvCkuzvGbJwNs5F4jgIFLSQUufQd2xwktu0VXL4Ys8GeclWa-hbaCl5ZUxmG_WxYkaFWBzjWtdVI0km7GwY/s1600-h/100_3556.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRV8XTkEcdV2HqV5fIGpzKjHUOAemBjyrhEeObsslpPeoy-dm8zvtg4zezmvCkuzvGbJwNs5F4jgIFLSQUufQd2xwktu0VXL4Ys8GeclWa-hbaCl5ZUxmG_WxYkaFWBzjWtdVI0km7GwY/s320/100_3556.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5315460078589918402" border="0" /></a><br />My dad always has a beautiful garden. He has for as long as I can remember. I love that my dad is a gardener. My grandparents always were too--until they got to where they weren't physically able to put in all the hard work a garden requires. Now that Daddy is retired, he is able to devote more time to his garden and has even planted potatoes at Grandma and Grandpa's house in addition to his own garden.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjvzhROtjR9ul1sC2xeMUuW8a-U0TlM-RrLdsCi-DYlQbiD4RftOFXxLbbOA0zCmnN-67ah3ml5EiT2Ur1ZxeZdlI2GWcOaGc3fxTndW0AU5rm9vNTwi_PgPvjERP1KZz-aXA1Hc4I6r8/s1600-h/100_3528.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjvzhROtjR9ul1sC2xeMUuW8a-U0TlM-RrLdsCi-DYlQbiD4RftOFXxLbbOA0zCmnN-67ah3ml5EiT2Ur1ZxeZdlI2GWcOaGc3fxTndW0AU5rm9vNTwi_PgPvjERP1KZz-aXA1Hc4I6r8/s320/100_3528.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5315462761091666962" border="0" /></a><br />This year, my dad decided to till a small spot of soil for the grandkids to plant their own garden. Cason, Cali, and Kenli stayed with Gigi and Papa yesterday and got to plant their rows. Em and I went out today, and she got to plant hers. She planted beans, radishes, pumpkins, and carrots. She was very cute squatting beside my dad and dropping her seeds into place.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoDNAA5u77du18TZHy0VOjGkkAEbw05WWP0BC8hMr-tIlB4_aQ1x2yDdPPCrJOuBDecBu1EyrrSINWINUxuaQ7RSet2agUCPwT8zGvpuSZYLTzmL9ozC9xbbwnmLBtMloj9F5pbU9Vx-M/s1600-h/100_3533.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoDNAA5u77du18TZHy0VOjGkkAEbw05WWP0BC8hMr-tIlB4_aQ1x2yDdPPCrJOuBDecBu1EyrrSINWINUxuaQ7RSet2agUCPwT8zGvpuSZYLTzmL9ozC9xbbwnmLBtMloj9F5pbU9Vx-M/s320/100_3533.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5315463240118454914" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOWvB2HbV959RH-2ERRLeIDA5DIukpCO5Tdu8c413C96cTQnpAITIhPBj-1bAAUAMgvC4Pvc2lxXQKmsOsXH1WQ1aeZdvrFL26FZ4c15nqsXUW0pDUlIpNanCNAL_TlnU7S_wiZZPgqZs/s1600-h/100_3544.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOWvB2HbV959RH-2ERRLeIDA5DIukpCO5Tdu8c413C96cTQnpAITIhPBj-1bAAUAMgvC4Pvc2lxXQKmsOsXH1WQ1aeZdvrFL26FZ4c15nqsXUW0pDUlIpNanCNAL_TlnU7S_wiZZPgqZs/s320/100_3544.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5315465250795661506" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcyj5a4rlxn4UPIfp1ICl2mglfhdAXszJfxgA7kZhrc7DI-fuLbH5sxniY2LuZKRBcRzGHaWRIAHFd3P350Ct0Q-uYCVM13WRhk2kybw5qTyCcX71sSRfVCEHqPgQtHg7f_zswGCvD1aU/s1600-h/100_3548.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcyj5a4rlxn4UPIfp1ICl2mglfhdAXszJfxgA7kZhrc7DI-fuLbH5sxniY2LuZKRBcRzGHaWRIAHFd3P350Ct0Q-uYCVM13WRhk2kybw5qTyCcX71sSRfVCEHqPgQtHg7f_zswGCvD1aU/s320/100_3548.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5315465240732226082" border="0" /></a><br />Then she got to help in the big garden! Dad tilled two rows, Em following right beside him until we realized she was walking in a row of tomato plants! She had a really good time, and I'm so glad that my dad is teaching her about gardening and sowing more than just vegetable seeds in her life. I'm thankful that my parents sowed seeds in my life too--seeds of time, love, faith, I could go on and on. I love you Mom and Dad!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnYxnNoMN_4NljQvMEoW3g7KNy2BqNwTpIMyEZBs6_tk1x6qS7_GxFOLE5kKpQfOkrjdQ-0MsWCtg8HB0BLgNmNCC3dQZmJPzn78_wMCpqFyfHHfUr09YXPrQKYo9UyOqes_he9-La2ys/s1600-h/100_3558.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnYxnNoMN_4NljQvMEoW3g7KNy2BqNwTpIMyEZBs6_tk1x6qS7_GxFOLE5kKpQfOkrjdQ-0MsWCtg8HB0BLgNmNCC3dQZmJPzn78_wMCpqFyfHHfUr09YXPrQKYo9UyOqes_he9-La2ys/s320/100_3558.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5315465677393426162" border="0" /></a>Hayleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10039476131558786642noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066570856193551623.post-26592332955088069502009-03-07T12:27:00.004-06:002009-03-07T12:56:15.920-06:00Compassion InternationalBryan and I used to sponsor a child from Rwanda through Compassion International. We couldn't pronounce his name, so we just called him Tim. We inherited him when the children's department and then the youth department at the church where we were ministering decided they could no longer pay the $21 each month to continue supporting him. There came a time when we were both in college and working multiple part-time jobs that we too had to discontinue our support of Tim.<br /><br />Whenever I read about Compassion projects, I think of little Tim and wonder how he is now. I wonder about his family and the project there in Rwanda. I know this region of Africa has seen some extremely violent times, and I wonder if he is even alive.<br /><br />I've written before about my friend <a href="http://www.cindyseay.blogspot.com/">Cindy</a> and her daughter <a href="http://bacakblogginit.blogspot.com/">Jenn</a>. Cindy is a precious woman of God who has such a heart for service. She and her husband have three sons and two daughters who also actively serve the Lord. Her son <a href="http://www.hearthevoice.com/">Chris</a> pastors <a href="http://www.ecclesiahouston.org/">Ecclesia</a>, and her son <a href="http://brianseay.wordpress.com/">Brian</a> actually works for <a href="http://www.compassion.com/default.htm">Compassion International</a> and recently adopted two children from Ethiopia. Her son Rob is a Christian recording artist--a.k.a <a href="http://www.robbieseayband.com/">Robbie Seay Band</a>. Their two daughters are Jenn and Jess.<br /><br />I say all of that to say, take a look at Jenn's blog. She and some friends are organizing an event in College Station that I think is really neat. She introduces it <a href="http://bacakblogginit.blogspot.com/2009/02/run-walk-or-crawl-for-compassion.html">here</a>, and she tells more about it <a href="http://bacakblogginit.blogspot.com/2009/03/register-today.html">here</a>. I know some of you that read this are runners, so here's your chance to put that "talent" to work for something good. Maybe some of us need to get together to do the walk. Let me know what you think!Hayleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10039476131558786642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066570856193551623.post-17016727333029427422009-02-23T21:44:00.003-06:002009-02-23T22:10:04.827-06:00Whatever Happened to Mr. Rogers?Saturday morning, Emma Leigh got out of bed before me, as usual! She usually watches some television while I sleep a few more minutes and Bryan eats breakfast. The normal Saturday morning shows are bizarre to say the least. She likes one with robots and another with dinosaurs--I think. We don't have cable or satellite, so her choices are pretty limited.<br /><br />On school days, she watches PBS Kids in the morning while we get ready for school. Her favorites are "Martha Speaks" and "Curious George," but she also really likes "Sid the Science Kid" and "Dragon Tales." I like these shows, and they all teach valuable lessons whether they are educational or moral. But I've always thought there was just something missing from them.<br /><br />And then I saw my old friend Mr. Rogers! This past Saturday I focused my sleepy eyes on the television as I warmed my bagel, and there was Lady Aberline! She was standing at King Friday's castle! Emma Leigh squealed, "Look Mommy! It's a castle like I learned about at school!" I told her all about how I used to watch Mr. Rogers when I was a little girl.<br /><br />After the trip to Make-Believe Mr. Rogers had a puppet of Mr. McFeely and soon he was singing, "I'll be back when the day is new, and I'll have more ideas for you; And you'll have things to talk about. I will too. Good-bye Neighbor." This reminded me of how Mr. Rogers taught me to use my imagination.<br /><br />It made me a little sad that Emma Leigh isn't getting to watch shows like this. Even though she watches very educational shows, there's just something about Mr. Rogers and his willingness to share the truth with kids. I did a search for him on <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mister_Rogers%27_Neighborhood">Wikipedia</a>, and I discovered that he was somewhat of a controversial figure. He wasn't afraid to tackle big issues like war and divorce. That's what made him real to me! <br /><br />I hope Em gets the chance to watch him again soon. Watching him made me proud to have learned so much from him. He truly was a Godly man!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRoncB6AZ2mgSnaYsBZpJNR0dkZVHK2jkgEEfwIgoTKDlrNnjaRIP4wMi8GKjjPss3I7Exnbl0o_k7CYfxAo8QN2lg2Ea9TIffhWX4Jj-xm593d9y1pv8l1BsY3SYOIUGEAG2k0jWLYQ8/s1600-h/mr-rogers-fred-4.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 284px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRoncB6AZ2mgSnaYsBZpJNR0dkZVHK2jkgEEfwIgoTKDlrNnjaRIP4wMi8GKjjPss3I7Exnbl0o_k7CYfxAo8QN2lg2Ea9TIffhWX4Jj-xm593d9y1pv8l1BsY3SYOIUGEAG2k0jWLYQ8/s320/mr-rogers-fred-4.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5306210511663898034" border="0" /></a>Hayleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10039476131558786642noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066570856193551623.post-83549826178528265172009-02-06T22:04:00.006-06:002009-02-07T15:08:08.258-06:00Ike Isn't Gone<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp9HaSir1HiUF0Q5VF6IfIsu8WdU0ZfwEdG8poksrKxnwuoJMj4QCoV64_XxrnYlVBX9Kz0kl_FA9I1LQk3jPF-F5J3Iy5mJZ1D_FKLGkRuCCKCJTbXUKy8ceBTHv4ACvJguTKx5cumk0/s1600-h/100_3170.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp9HaSir1HiUF0Q5VF6IfIsu8WdU0ZfwEdG8poksrKxnwuoJMj4QCoV64_XxrnYlVBX9Kz0kl_FA9I1LQk3jPF-F5J3Iy5mJZ1D_FKLGkRuCCKCJTbXUKy8ceBTHv4ACvJguTKx5cumk0/s320/100_3170.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5299907304999385538" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ5tLnP3xS2QeOucfvmYPpncsXdYMv-2Cou_oJCizjr1gax9tf4QSM09DnU7VRjHmgVLJhtyf-RYCiGqIVQw2iZhbub7K1vWaERcZgeFUZ1L7_v208PfO6g6KPA6b0yxzgGn2bS3JVdG4/s1600-h/100_3176.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ5tLnP3xS2QeOucfvmYPpncsXdYMv-2Cou_oJCizjr1gax9tf4QSM09DnU7VRjHmgVLJhtyf-RYCiGqIVQw2iZhbub7K1vWaERcZgeFUZ1L7_v208PfO6g6KPA6b0yxzgGn2bS3JVdG4/s320/100_3176.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5299907325373275986" border="0" /></a><br />This week, I attended the ACSI Conference in Galveston with many of the wonderful teachers from my school. I was excited about the opportunity I'd have to see how Galveston is rebuilding after Hurricane Ike. Today was the first day I was outside the Moody Gardens facilities during the daytime, and I was able to see the damage first-hand.<br /><br />Although it's been nearly 5 months since Ike's landfall, Galveston is still recovering and rebuilding. Most of the shops and restaurants in the Strand district are still closed. Many, many homes, hotels, and condos still have blue tarps on their roofs. Plywood still covers the windows and holes left from the high winds that Ike brought. P.O.D.S and FEMA trailers sit in driveways and front yards of homes being completely gutted and remodeled.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQjz1mwvzGdsTQhpOpqd8pKU66YFOPfJp8CBuZ3mUuhVUMBBlwftIV8cbPoUX0_s9G_MUEDj_qyQi92q8yMCg8yWL0O2sEHEtIBjQrF1gcym3zUooKD_kvcGbkj1jGUn8YD1587SNQ-8o/s1600-h/100_3134.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQjz1mwvzGdsTQhpOpqd8pKU66YFOPfJp8CBuZ3mUuhVUMBBlwftIV8cbPoUX0_s9G_MUEDj_qyQi92q8yMCg8yWL0O2sEHEtIBjQrF1gcym3zUooKD_kvcGbkj1jGUn8YD1587SNQ-8o/s320/100_3134.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5299907315436224066" border="0" /></a><br />The most eerie sight by far was the Flagship Hotel. A large hotel--and prominent Galveston landmark--that once stood supported by large concrete pillars out over the raging ocean waves, now sits separated from the mainland by demolished driveway entrance and exit ramps. A gaping hole in one end of the hotel reveals damaged rooms. Broken windows give crumpled curtains an escape to billow in the ocean breeze. A bed can be seen through one window, and the empty room in which it sits waits for guests that will never again arrive.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkau3Fn-sIgzqbiJLYnnSXn75tvoC0AJ0NnuHkFynVxnD__iYk4lQdiUV0_K09FagFqy42a3mK3wjkmBoHeF9cyz9DhpWu3tTucFN3t4c7ZtDAGTNNzPUzB8Jbu__48_TmDaT8RZINAgM/s1600-h/100_3145.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkau3Fn-sIgzqbiJLYnnSXn75tvoC0AJ0NnuHkFynVxnD__iYk4lQdiUV0_K09FagFqy42a3mK3wjkmBoHeF9cyz9DhpWu3tTucFN3t4c7ZtDAGTNNzPUzB8Jbu__48_TmDaT8RZINAgM/s320/100_3145.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5299907266636954786" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipgTV-OM3q5wdgmRqZkb2wfAzR8lNMedqo3hkFvQPbiqpLRXnuBMXJ5TeVD1IrMDexQcMCNiojzknHw7ZRIFNEuq0NIIdo6Cza5FPl6RgGX8Uyrvm8NAtA8JFFfcDswDH3IjsgDN2AFAQ/s1600-h/100_3148.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipgTV-OM3q5wdgmRqZkb2wfAzR8lNMedqo3hkFvQPbiqpLRXnuBMXJ5TeVD1IrMDexQcMCNiojzknHw7ZRIFNEuq0NIIdo6Cza5FPl6RgGX8Uyrvm8NAtA8JFFfcDswDH3IjsgDN2AFAQ/s320/100_3148.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5299907302659821058" border="0" /></a><br />I took pictures but felt that I was invading the privacy and dignity of the people of Galveston. I want to post them to serve as a reminder of the work left to do in Galveston and of the beauty of a place that many seem to have forgotten. God has not forgotten, and I hope that I will not forget to pray for these people as they rebuild their homes, businesses, and lives.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4ZBma2WD9A1VBgpykoPqSeF9tJaMeNwUXCQcuEyeCPKOoVWDqQo8odxn-m17xvQym9UzdfSx_fLouJ3bukG-KYuA-xOgQMucuh0SMa03Fpk0zj5RjEerupzH-eOEdAQ6sSTZsAVGazjA/s1600-h/The+Window.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4ZBma2WD9A1VBgpykoPqSeF9tJaMeNwUXCQcuEyeCPKOoVWDqQo8odxn-m17xvQym9UzdfSx_fLouJ3bukG-KYuA-xOgQMucuh0SMa03Fpk0zj5RjEerupzH-eOEdAQ6sSTZsAVGazjA/s320/The+Window.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5300164976516815026" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2JwtEzfaaRPHbLJysOlKL4fRwYpy8HEi-z91rMormNFzrbPlF2h2AyLnT9mKEwZ2Xm-4orh-jt0yyqJqXg0wxFYo2b498gUMP9uEKauoo8FihxJTiINP95JJlYTDmO2np7LSQLtmDNOY/s1600-h/100_3199.JPG"><br /></a>Hayleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10039476131558786642noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066570856193551623.post-61754308252726514292009-01-31T16:02:00.005-06:002009-01-31T16:53:17.463-06:00ConversationsConversation #1:<br />Last Sunday night we got home from church in time to watch the very end of Extreme Makeover Home Edition. As far as I know, we have never sat down as a family and watched this show. It's a great show, but we are just not usually at home on Sunday evenings to watch it. So Sunday night was the first time that I <span style="font-style: italic;">know </span>Em has seen it. <br /><br />Many of you know that we went on a mission trip to Amarillo last summer, and Em went with us and talks about going back ALL the time. Her latest musing about Amarillo went like this. "Maybe we can go back to Amarillo this summer and we can build somebody's house back that got destroyed from the hurricane and we can say, 'Move that bus!' " <br /><br />She may not have all of the geography of hurricane tracking figured out, but I think there's something deeper there than that!<br /><br />Conversation #2:<br />Em and I stayed home from school on Wednesday.<br /><br />The original "day at home" was planned on Tuesday afternoon when I picked her up from school and she had a fever. After some cuddling and hugging and feeling her forehead repeatedly, we went to my classroom to make preparations for a sub the next day. Overnight, the cough and tight chest I'd been trying to ignore would not take, "No, you will not cause me illness" for an answer! I ended up at the doctor's office with my perfectly well four year old sidekick. Not sure what was up with the fever the day before!<br /><br />On our way out the door, juggling the six Littlest Pet Shop animals she had chosen to take to the doctor's office in a much-too-tiny basket, Em said, "Mom, I probably should have chosen a different basket. These animals keep falling out!" <br /><br />Conversation #3:<br />Then as we left the doctor's office, an hour or so later, we watched the bright yellow medical transport helicopter land at the Conroe hospital. After I explained that they were landing on the roof so that they could bring someone to the hospital or take someone to another hospital, Em again quipped with four year old certainty, "They probably are going to need a door up there on the roof."<br /><br />I was amazed at the intelligence and clarity of our conversations the entire day. Wow my baby is growing up! I enjoy talking with her and seeing her mind wonder about the hows and whys of things. <br /><br />Conversation #4: <br />Just a little bit ago, Em wanted an apple. As I peeled and sliced it for her, I became aware of her staring at me. I looked down at her and noticed she was tapping her foot also. Because she's usually singing or dancing or making up a new song, I said, "Are you keeping the beat?" She quickly replied, "No, that's what you do when you're waiting."<br /><br />Conversation #5:<br />I love the group Watermark. I have their CD "A Grateful People" in my car and loaded on my iPod. I listen to it all the time. You may have heard one or two of their songs on my playlist on this blog. One of the songs that I have on the playlist is actually two songs put together, "Who Am I?" and "Grace Flows Down." I LOVE this song!<br /><br />The words say:<br /><div style="text-align: center;">Over time You've healed so much in me and I am living proof.<br />That although my darkest hour had come, Your light could still shine through.<br />And though at times it's just enough to cast a shadow on the wall,<br />I am grateful that You shine Your light on me at all.<br /><br />Well, amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me.<br />I once was lost but now I'm found, was blind but now I see.<br />And the more I sing that sweet old song, the more I understand<br />That I do not comprehend this love that's coming from Your hand.<br /><br />Who am I that You would love me so gently?<br />Who am I that you would recognize my name?<br />Lord who am I that You would speak to me so softly?<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Conversations</span> with the love most high who am I?<br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">What amazing words! The more I know, the more I see the enormity of what I haven't yet figured out--with my own life, with my daughter's life, with the amazing, wonderful life that Christ gives!<br /></div></div>Hayleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10039476131558786642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066570856193551623.post-2146341109513769722009-01-25T20:26:00.002-06:002009-01-25T20:55:55.578-06:00Precious Life<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-mt5ucyBvnoA_fA-54YBjDQQjUKpTLiuS1uifqsHkc8gCib5Q4lFbVkc2fqwYTv8l7nv3WV_XX4vDdj3ZGbXpoGlI3nmGwjM3VT2nz3CccWE1HIpsMjBFC3p6rnE489VXbMVrYuONJS4/s1600-h/abortion.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-mt5ucyBvnoA_fA-54YBjDQQjUKpTLiuS1uifqsHkc8gCib5Q4lFbVkc2fqwYTv8l7nv3WV_XX4vDdj3ZGbXpoGlI3nmGwjM3VT2nz3CccWE1HIpsMjBFC3p6rnE489VXbMVrYuONJS4/s200/abortion.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5295424124433525458" border="0" /></a>I haven't <span style="font-family: georgia;">posted</span> in a while because I haven't felt inspired with any profound messages. As I contemplated this on the way home from church tonight, I felt like I should probably share something about the Sanctity of Human Life. <br /><br />When most of us think of preserving life, our minds immediately go to images like the one above. We think of unborn children who are aborted everyday in our country. I was thrilled to find this quote by then-President George Bush released by the White House last Sunday. <br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: verdana; font-style: italic;">All human life is a gift from our Creator that is sacred, unique, and worthy of protection. On National Sanctity of Human Life Day, our country recognizes that each person, including every person waiting to be born, has a special place and purpose in this world. We also underscore our dedication to heeding this message of conscience by speaking up for the weak and voiceless among us.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: verdana;"></span></div><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: verdana;"><br /></span>I had the amazing privilege of hearing Lysa TerKeurst from Proverbs 31 Ministries last Thursday night, and she spoke on what happens when women say, "Yes," to God. She shared about her experience adopting two orphaned boys from Liberia who'd survived the civil war there where entire families had been slaughtered. I realized too that things like this take place all over the world every day, and we are so oblivious to it! God really opened my eyes to a whole different perspective. Lives in Liberia are just as valuable as those unborn babies that are being aborted here in the U.S. each day.<br /><br />I'm so thankful that God has allowed me to be a part of adoption. I love hearing adoption stories, and I can't wait to meet the new little one that He has for me and my family! <br /><div style="text-align: center; font-style: italic;"><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: courier new;"></span><br /></div></div>Hayleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10039476131558786642noreply@blogger.com3