With Lily Ana's placement in our home, I've been much more aware of the ignorance of people when it comes to adoption. I don't mean that in a callous way, but in the way that ignorance is simply "not knowing" about something. Several people have said to me, "I just don't know how anyone could GIVE this baby away!" I've just looked at them in disbelief. If only they could have been there. If only they could have seen the red, swollen eyes of a sweet young lady who'd been crying for hours before and will continue to cry for hours, days, months, and even years after placement. If only they could have seen the tear stains on Lily Ana's blanket--the blanket that her birthmom chose for her and slept with so that she would continue to know her smell when she came home with us. If only...
The choice was not one to give this baby AWAY, but instead it was to give this baby MORE. Lily Ana's birthmom prayed over her decision for months. She agonized over profiles of families and didn't find the one she was looking for. While she was praying, we were also praying. We prayed daily for God to give us THE baby He wanted us to have, not just any baby, but THE baby. And as the Holy Spirit so perfectly does, He laid it on the hearts of the sweet, wise ladies at New Life to show this birthmom one more profile--ours. And then there was peace. She knew. We knew. He knew.
And now here we are, still filled with so many emotions. Ours is joy and excitement and happiness, and Lily Ana's birthmom is still filled with so many emotions too. I pray that she is experiencing peace about her decision, but she is certainly still feeling sorrow and grief and misery. I know many of you have sent us messages of congratulations, and I know that many of you will do that once you read this. Thank you for that, and thank you for praying for us as we've walked this portion of our journey.
I have one request of you however. Remember the love felt on the day we brought Lily Ana home? It was the love of an adoptive family for the sweet birthmom placing her baby in their arms and for the new baby being welcomed into their hearts. But most of all, it was the love of a birthmom for the precious baby girl she carried in her womb. And with that love comes so much pain, so much heartache, so much grief. Remember her. Remember her selflessness. And remember to pray for her.
8 comments:
Oh Hayley...
CONGRATULATIONS!!! She is a doll!
But as a birthmom, I also want to thank you for this sweet post. I can't tell you how it warms my heart to know that you care for this birthmom so much. That in the midst of your joy, your heart is hurting for her. How I wish all adoptive moms were as open as you.
Thank you for honoring her in a way that no one else will. Over the entire course of her life, she will need your compassion and understanding more than anyone else's on this planet. For the next few years, you will consume every thought of every day. In time, the pain will lessen, but still not one day will pass that she will not think of you and your precious daughter.
Knowing that you honor her feelings and cherish the gift that she gave you, will be all that sustains her.
I am so thrilled for your sweet family and to see how God is growing it!
Congratulations on your beautiful baby girl!
Jennifer
Hayley,
Wow! Can you paint the picture of the day you brought Lily home? I felt and could see you all their. I am so glad you were able to express the emotion and explain it so well.
I now have tears streaming down my face. I will be praying for Lily's birthmom that she will find the peace in her decision. I will be praying for you and Bryan to continue to be the parents He has called you to and raising the 2 beautiful girls He has entrusted you with. You & Bryan are both such precious friends. Wish our lives could come together more often, but know that we do respect you and admire you. Love, Erin
CONGRATULATIONS!!! So happy for y'all! She is such a precious gift from God!
Thank you for your tender words and loving heart to the birthmom. Will be praying for her and your family.
GOD'S BLESSINGS TO Y'ALL~
love,
carri
Your post truly touched me! I will pray for her and you. As hard as it is for her to allow you to care for her child I think she will rest easy knowing that a family that loves God like you and your husband do chose to open their hearts and their home to her child! What a blessing it was for God to join both of your families!!! Lily is SO beautiful and I know she was have such a wonderful life.
Hayley and Brian, she's a beauty. I'm in awe of your recognition of the process a birth mom goes through of selfless love. Even in the process of giving the baby to you she's "mothering" and making a beautiful choice-- a life with a Christian, precious mom and dad. Congratulations, and I will commit to pray for the birth mom, and of course, I will continue to pray for the parenting mom too. Much love, Misty Lakin
Thanks for sharing the other side of adoption. What an amazing love a birthmom has for her baby. A love so great that she would place her baby so that the child could have more!
Thanks for honoring her.
Definitely, congratulations. Very happy for you guys, and happy that Lily Ana has such a wonderful mother...and father too, I guess. :-)
Heart broken for the birth-mom. Can't even imagine. Definitely said a prayer for her. What courage to make such a difficult and selfless decision.
God bless you in the training of another arrow!
I am so excited for your family and I cannot wait for our day to come when we are able to take our baby home. You have just outlined our biggest fear- the NOT knowing what to expect from our birthmom. I am sure that each situation differs in so many ways, but also I know that these same emotions are sure to run through every mothers head. We patiently wait as I know you have for many months. Thank you for this post!
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