I'm not feeling well today. It's after 2:30, and I'm still in my pajamas and haven't even brushed my teeth. I went to bed last night with the feeling that a migraine was coming, and when I woke up this morning I had the worst headache I've had in a very long time. I've been on the couch or in the bed most of the day today. At about 1:30, I decided I should get up and try to eat something. I found myself here at the computer and wandered over to this seemingly forgotten blog.
I avoid looking at it because it reminds me that I've neglected it. I speak of "IT" as if it's a living, breathing thing. In some ways it is. I started this blog to remind myself of the things that God has done in my life, and to help me not to forget what it is He has called me to be. So avoiding "IT" has, in some ways, been my way of not dealing with things in my life that need to be addressed spiritually.
As I live my life--day after day--I often find myself thinking, "Oh, I could blog about that!" Something will happen, and I'll try to find the spiritual truth in it. It's been nearly seven months since I've written anything here, and I can't begin to count the topics that have come up that I've begun writing in my head. The problem is that they are all ME trying to put a spiritual spin on something that's not. I'm trying to find the God-factor in something that He's not showing me.
Today as I laid in bed, praying for my headache to go away, I realized that I've been moving so quickly through life that I'm not taking the time for the most important thing. I'm not being still. We are so busy each and every day. Since school was out, we've been on the go nearly every single day for over a month. We enjoyed a fabulous vacation in Panama City Beach, Florida, but as soon as we got home, we hit the ground running again.
In the book of Psalms the writer speaks of the Lord Almighty, "He says, 'Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.' "(46:10) Oh, I like to be still. I am loving my afternoon summer naps! Last week Emma Leigh went to WOW Science Camp, and nearly every afternoon when Lily napped, I napped too. I was exhausted from getting up and taking her to camp each morning, and then running errands I didn't know I had.
But I don't think the Psalmist is talking about that kind of stillness, and he's for sure not talking about laziness or slothfulness. This stillness is a quiet listening. This stillness is a restful awareness. It's knowing He is God--knowing He is there, even when we don't feel it.
The next three weeks are CRAZY busy for us. We have plans nearly every day this coming week, VBS the following week, Bryan goes to Pre-Teen camp the next week, and I'm in WOW! Academy training the same week. But my prayer is that despite the day-to-day, something-is-on-the-calendar, we've-got-to-get-up-and-go, I will find time each day to be STILL.
9 months ago