WHEW! Whoever said going from one child to two children was like going from one to ten was wrong! It's like having 20! I haven't posted in a while, and the aforementioned twenty children would be the cause.
We have really struggled. Lily Ana has reflux, so we've spent many evenings holding a screaming baby; we've had many sleepless nights; and we're feeding cereal to a two month old so that she'll get all of the Prevacid ready-tab she's taking twice each day. We've wondered what happened to the baby we prayed for who coos and smiles and sleeps all night. We've wondered if she knows us; if she realizes we're her family. She tends to be very solemn most of the time, and at her two-month check up the nurse said, "O.K. So she's smiling and cooing now...?" And I had to say sadly, "No..." Dr. Mac reminded me that she was a preemie and that the reflux probably is causing a lot of discomfort. He said if she isn't smiling and cooing by four months, he'll want her to see a specialist to check for any delays. (GIANT SIGH) As if I don't have enough to worry about as a Mom!
My mom is so wonderful to call and check up on her granddaughters. One evening about three weeks ago when she called, Lily Ana was screaming. She was inconsolable. Nothing calmed her. She had a full tummy, dry diaper, calming lotion, and warm socks! Knowing that I couldn't talk on the phone, Mom quickly told me she loved me and reminded me that she and Dad pray for us every day. It felt so good to be reminded that my parents take the time to pray for my family. After we hung up I began thinking about my own quiet times with God. They have become so brief, and honestly, there have been days that I am so tired and so discouraged that I have not been able to pray.
Then last week I talked with one of the case workers at our wonderful adoption agency. Sara has been our case worker with both of our girls' adoptions, and she is a matter-of-fact, down-to-earth lady. I had called her a few days before to set up our three-month meeting with her at New Life, and she was returning my call. It had been an especially rough day, and I was feeling very low. She asked how I was, and I began pouring out my heart to her. She was so understanding and her words so comforting to me. Before we hung up I asked her to please pray for me, and she assured me that she would.
The very next day I began to feel such peace. Lily Ana had begun smiling little smiles and making soft little sounds, but in the last week she has begun smiling so much. And I love the quiet moments where she makes tiny little sounds that I know are her way of communicating love to me. Her little personality is really beginning to develop, and I'm soaking it all up. I have yet to get a GOOD picture of it, but I've gotten a little glimpse to share.
Over the weekend, we got to get away for a few days. We all four went to San Antonio and to Sea World. As we traveled, I thought about the prayers that had been lifted up for my family and me. I felt like I really understood intercession. People who cared about me had prayed on my behalf. They had prayed for my needs at a time when I couldn't. What a blessing to be loved so dearly by family and friends, but what a bigger blessing to be loved by the Creator God!
2 years ago