2 years ago
Monday, August 18, 2008
We spent a few days last week at the beach in Galveston. It was really good to get away--just the three of us. I love the ocean--the way the wind blows so steadily; the way the waves come in and out, in and out; and the way the sand is always changing. There's just something about the constant change that takes place there.
Emma Leigh also loves the beach--the sea shells, sand, and birds that is. She is not, however, too keen on the water. I found myself getting a little frustrated with her for not trusting Bryan or me to hold her and walk out into the waves. She was obviously afraid!
And then I took a walk out into the surf myself. The waves were huge! Occasionally one would catch me off guard, splashing me in the face, and making my eyes burn. That day there was also a strong undercurrent. I found myself fearing what was underneath the surface, hidden below the murky water. Once a fish jumped up right in front of me, and I flinched with fear.
As I walked further from the shore, I realized that, like Emma Leigh, we all fear what we don't know. Why is it that we are afraid of what we don't know? Is it because the unknown is not within our control? And then I began to realize that's what faith is all about! It's trusting in God for the unknown.
Our homestudy is complete for a second adoption, and we're just waiting for a baby now. I worry about the timing because I don't get paid maternity leave. I worry about providing for another child. I worry about how another child will effect Emma Leigh. But I don't need to. I need to trust God's wisdom and all-knowing power. Nothing is unknown to him.
I am praying that I will trust Him more; that I'll not worry, and that I'll allow Him to do amazing things in my life.